to go there or not to go there

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
to go there or not to go there
6
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 1:23pm
so, i've been friends w/this guy for 1 1/2 we've had sex a handful of times. the first time we had sex, it was awesome!!! after that, things went down hill. his penus is smaller than what i'm used to, so i have a hard time riding it. i feel so awkward when i'm on top of him, b/c i dont want to embarass him and tell him that his penus is to small for me to ride, but in the same breath i want to be satisfied.

i want a relationship he doesnt. he's distanced himself from me for the past month or so citing that we want two different things and since he doesn't want what i want he has to keep his distance (admirable of him wouldn't u say)! so that's our dilemma-he emailed me last week and said that he wanted to start having sex w/me again. not just regular sex, but oral sex. now i'm a strong believer in pleasing my mate, but i think that both parties should be in a committed relationship rather than casually sleeping w/ea. other.

we've never been on a real date sort of speak. we've hung out a couple of times, other people have mistaken us as a couple.

i love the foundation we've established, but i want to be sexually wild and explore differnt sexual arenas. i'm just not sure how to go about it...

does anyone have any advice on my situation? should i continue to have sex w/him? if so, how can i obtain satisfaction w/his small penus? Also, should i go there and have oral sex with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 2:03pm

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 2:48pm
< he wanted to start having sex w/me again. not just regular sex, but oral sex.>

Odd. Do you think he has a sense of your dissatisfaction? And why would he want to date a woman who is dissatisfied with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 2:56pm
Perhaps he knows your dissatisfied and has thought about it and suggested oral to please you but since somehow you've discerned that oral sex is more "intimate" than intercourse you're less receptive to the idea.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 3:27pm
interesting take on the subject, i never thought about it like that before...he might just know.

does anyone have any suggestions on a couple of positions we could try?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 3:43pm
The man doesn't satisfy you sexually......and he doesn't want a relationship with you. So why would you waste your time with him when you could be out looking for a man with a bigger penis who DOES want a relationship.

Also, how could sex the first time be "awesome", and then all of a sudden he can't satisfy you. Did his penis shrink?

He doesn't want what you want, he doesn't HAVE what you want...so what would be the point?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 7:07pm
I don't think that you should bother with this guy. He clearly doesn't want a relationship and he just wants sex from you. I suspect his way of keeping the relationship casual in his head is to want only oral sex. He possibly considers that intercourse is more intimate and he doesn't want that to happen. Personally, I think that he's just using you like a real live sex toy to get him off when he wants.

I don't think that you've established any foundations. You might have started building them but they have since crumbled into dust when he said that he didn't want to get involved.

Advice on the situation? It's clear to me. Forget about this guy and go find someone-else that WANTS a relationship with you and probably has bigger penis too.

Greeteabag: I think that the first time she had sex with the guy the emotional anticipation probably made it 'awesome'.