Guy Fantasies!

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Guy Fantasies!
4
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 2:00pm
Can guys still have fantasies about women they are angry at? I'm just curious. I have known this man for well over 25 years. We were together when we were younger for 3 years, we were friends for 20 and then we got back together for another 2. I found out when we got back together that he still had very vivid memories of us in bed from when we were younger and now as adults the sex was amazing! We definately still have chemistry. However, I found out that he had been lieing to me about another relationship he had, he said it was over, it wasn't. We got into a pretty huge fight and we haven't made up, and I don't think I want to. Last night while out with the girls, we were discussing men's fantasy's. They said he probably still fantasizes about me. I'm just a bit curious, I can't have fantasies about him anymore. I'm mad. But can guy's really put that aside when it comes to fantasies and sex? Just curious.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to:
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 2:25pm
The only way you would know if he has fantasies about you is to ask him and as far as can someone fantasize about someone they are mad at, why not.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
In reply to:
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 2:35pm

Dear OP,

I don't think it has anything to do with male or female. Some people can fantasize about another while still being angry and others cannot. As human beings, we are able to feel multiple feelings at the same time. The person that you hate the most can also be the person that you love the most...in fact, in a relationship that is new and still in its deep infatuation or eros phase (this usually lasts the first three years) most of us vascilate between passionate, deep, loving feelings and deep anger and hatred, that's why love triangles have the potential to be the most violent of murder scenarios, (and also why you are so angry with him by the way). THere are a lot of interesting psychological reasons for this, which I won't go into...but to make a long story short: Yes. It's possible to have both sets of feelings.

Peace.
Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to:
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 2:46pm

Why would you even care what he fantasizes about? You broke up with him.....for good reason. He's a liar. Are you hoping he's suffering? NOT!

As for being mad at him, another waste of your time and energy. You're all worked up about what was done to you, and he really doesn't give a tinkers dam what you feel or care about. He's still got lady #1!

"Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice......shame on me!

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
In reply to:
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 3:27pm
No, I'm not worked up. It's over and done. It was just an interesting conversation last night that got me thinking. He is big on fantasies, I heard about a lot of them, they all included me. I just assumed that when we got in our fight and broke up, that any thought he had of me would be in anger. But my friends thought not and I really hadn't thought of it before. How both feelings could somehow co-exist, I don't understand. It was just kind of interesting to me. Not as much in our relationship, but in general terms. How can you feel anger and lust for someone at the same time. I can't do it. It never occured to me that someone else could.