Is this guy sex obsessed or what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Is this guy sex obsessed or what?
1
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 1:20am

I had a email friend (he is around 25-32yrs old) that for a long time he stopped writing me, like for months, then all of a sudden he again wrote me and said that he did not write me before because he was having problems in his relationship with his girlfriend, but the problems were sex issues. He says that it was not what he expected to be, because he has a big sexual passion and he likes to have sex frequently. Also he told me that he likes to give his partner (whomever it is) oral sex. This lady in question he says, at the beginning she liked to receive oral sex and she also like to give him oral sex but all of a sudden she did not want it anymore. They did oral sex all day, in the morning, at noon and at night several times but now it seems the lady lost the passion for doing it. He says that at first they both agreed she was very hot but since she moved in with him for a couple of weeks and she was speaking about a long term relationship, it seems she lost her passion, he quoted.
My email friend says that now he does not know what to do because he wants to tell her he needs her to be passionate again like before otherwise there won’t be a relationship. At nights he masturbate, he tells me in order to satisfy himself and that is why he was straight to her and honest and told her that he needs again a passionate woman.

What can you tell about this guy? Is he behaving correctly? For me it sounds he is a little bit sex obsessed, I mean oral sex all day 3 times a day?? And also he will break a relationship just because he is not being satisfied as a man? For me there are more important things than sex in a relationship, I mean sex is important of course, but I don’t think it is a way to break up a relationship, just because of sex.

This email friend wants me to give him my point of view on that. What should I tell him?

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 1:39am

Just give him your opinion...that's what he's asking for. Tell him what you said here.

I don't think sex should be the main focus of any relationship either, but apparently, this guy does and he does have the right to decide what's important to him. Good luck finding a woman who will provide oral sex 3 times a day indefinitely though! I think it's unrealistic to expect to have oral sex, or any kind of sex, 3 times a day longterm.

OF course, you have lots of sex in the beginning of a relationship but once the hormones cool a little, our real libidos take over and the expectations become more realistic and natural. We all have other interests and responsibilities beyond sex, so at some point, life forces you to focus your attentions elsewhere.

He should attempt to find a compromise with this woman before calling it quits though since it will probably be the same issue with another one anyway.