Guy who takes too long to O second time

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Guy who takes too long to O second time
7
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 2:55am

I don't know how common a problem this is, but its starting to bother me a bit. I have pretty good orgasm control, and when having sex with a partner, I cum with relative ease when I want. However, when we do it again a little later, I have great difficulty achieving orgasm. I stay hard, and can go forever, but all too often we stop without me "finishing" because it is just taking so long. Sometimes I can be finished off with some oral, but other times that doesn't do it either.

Are there any ideas on why this happens and what I can do about it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 3:43am

I would say the majority of men have this "issue". Truth is, it's only an "issue" if your end goal is to have an orgasm. If your goal is to enjoy being with your partner, and pleasuring each other, then it shouldn't bother you that much. Some men can only orgasm every few times they have sex, particularly as they get older.

Once you've had that initial release, even if you can gain another erection, your sensitivity is reduced, the blood flow isn't as intense, and your body hasn't had time to build its semen supply back up yet.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 7:06am

Welcome to the board tcscottseattle.


As xplosiv said, it can be because your body hasn't had a chance to build up the semen for the second round, but that shouldn't stop you from being able to enjoy the pleasure of round 2.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2005
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 7:08am

Same thing for me -- I chalk it up to just getting older. If the second time is within a few hours of the first, I almost always will finish manually, whether it's i/c or oral that we're up to. Also, obviously, the second time you're not nearly as horny, so it makes sense that you would not cum as fast. In the morning after a really serious makeout session into the wee hours, I tend to be just not all that up for another orgasm without tons and tons of foreplay.

Over the years I've found there is an optimal time to "prepare" for important dates -- it's probably 3-4 days. That's the period it usually takes me to have a super hard erection, a lot of streams of cum, good distance if I want it lol, and the color is really bright white. Shorter than that and I'm sometimes not super horny. Much longer than that and something goes slightly off, in addition to which the sperm is greyish, jelly-like (doesn't go nearly as far or in streams), and smells strongly like a mixture of Brie cheese and Clorox bleach ... somehow not as attractive.

Last summer I went for 15 days, then I had a date, and I almost drowned the girl, but I remember that my body did not feel very natural leading up to the orgasm; the sensitivity was kind of lost.

At any rate, I think your "problem" is just a totally normal occurrence!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 2:48am
Why does it happen? I guess that it's biology. Your "problem" sounds perfectly normal to me. And as already mentioned, it's only a problem if your goal is another orgasm. Personally, I'd say "relax". If part of the goal is her pleasure, then do what is necessary for her pleasure and see how you go and don't panic or stress if you can't cum the second time. You don't *have* to continue to orgasm!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 3:42pm

I don't see it as a problem. If my wife and I both fall asleep happy and satisfied, then it was sucesfull lovemaking, regardless of how many orgasms either of us had or didn't have.

There are some nights that My head (so to speak) just isn't in the game, and I never have an orgasm, but I see to it she does. Those are successful nights, as are the ones when she's not really into it, but gives me oral or a handjob. The crux is making your partner and yourself happy, not orgasms.

--


martinisnsushi - living the good life since 1963

--


martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 11:51am
Its very often difficult to finish the second time, things are just a bit more sensitive and to some extent numb. i find that oral on the second round gets me too sensitive if you can believe that. too sensitive in that its almost an irritation feeling. i find that the doggie style position works best for me for the second round. Whats great about the second orgasm is the fact that it can last soooo long that you can really put in some good bed time and play with different positions and its just such a great place to be! Typically i like to be on top or have my dear gf on top and we throw some other stuff in there as well but when it comes to wrapping up round two its like I said i have luck with doggie, just a different angle that trips my trigger.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 12:05pm

Explain to this woman that you do not "need" nor "desire" to orgasm again.

Many women (usually inexperienced) are under the assumption that men are sex machines, and sex is all they think about, and can't ever get enough of. It just isn't true. Just because a man can get an erection, does not necessarily mean that he is ready for an orgasm, just as a woman can get wet and aroused but not have an orgasm.

Tell her it does not mean that you are not enjoying what you are doing, just that it's not enough physically or emotionally to finish. She should be able to emphathize, since this is very common amongst the female species. ;-)

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )