Guys ... Erection without Climaxing ??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Guys ... Erection without Climaxing ??
16
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 12:58pm
What does it mean exactly when a man has an erection, but cannot climax? We experienced this problem last night and my husband said he thought it was because he had a lot of things on his mind from work plus the fact that we had a lot of sex throughout the weekend. He said he wanted to climax, but it just wasn't happening although he was very hard. ??? GUYS, have you experienced this and how did you feel. My husband seemed to be able to fall asleep normally - it wasn't like he had a case of blue balls or something. I was satisfied, but that was a first for us.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 6:10pm
If you are going thru counseling, and he sees the changes in you, and he has to make some changes, then temporarily he could have sexual problems in bed. Because things are changing, points of view are changing and he maybe is stopping pushing you for more wild sex than you are comfortable with. To be blunt, perhaps he married a woman (you) who would endure light sexual abuse. Then, after counseling you no longer endure it. You have changed from the submissive woman he thought he married. Now he has to reframe his sexual life. This is stressfull in the penile/mind area.

Once the changes are good and the things take effect, then things will either settle down or get worse. He may have to face some hard truths about himself. He may feel less powerful since he is no longer a bully.

These are just ideas, they may not be the truth for you....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 6:27pm
I am beginning to think that it could possibly be because everything was "my idea" last night. I put something sexy on, I came onto him, etc. He was tired and I don't think expecting us to have sex (since the weekend had been pretty heavy). But I'm wondering now if he might not like me in the control seat, so to speak. It's usually him who is calling me and telling me what to be wearing and blah, blah. It was me last night. OR could be just what I was originally thinking. He's stressed, tired and it happens to everyone type of deal.

The counseling is going good, but to tell you the truth, we're just as bad as before, less the abusive man handling. No bruises or anything like that. Father's Day, we spent doing everything for him in a hotel suite and after a few hours of it, I was just shaking my head at things - like "does it go in one ear and out the other?" type of thing.

I'm probably just over thinking things, but it is a question I'll ask my counselor about as far as what she thinks last night was. And I might try that scenario again with R when we haven't had sex for a little while and he's not tired and see what happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 6:29pm
It's never happened where he's not orgasmed in 26 years. If he becomes desensitized to a particular stimuli, just as anyone can, we just take a brief rest and then change-off. It works every time. If you were last doing oral or intercourse, take a rest and cuddle and talk and forget about it, then proceed to manual.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 6:35pm
Yes, he pleasured me first and was ready and willing, but during actual intercourse, he just seemed to go and go and go, not really interested in changing things around (unusual for him) and he can get that way when he's tired. After awhile, you know - you just get kinda tired of it going on and on so he stopped. Mind you, it was a long time and I just knew any minute he was going to climax, but he didn't. So he got off and we just cuddled the rest of the night. Maybe we're just doing it too dang much!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 10:17am
If R was fine with it, then let it be. I have been there before, and it was very strange for me too, as I had never been in that situation before. I shocked me. It shocked her more. Who knows why it happened. If it is once or twice, no worries, but if it starts happening to often, he needs to get checked out and make sure there is nothing serious wrong with him. I doubt that, but you never can tell.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 12:42pm
Thanks jeep. Well, all is well - as of this morning! ;)

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