He really said that? He'd really rather watch the news than have you go down on him? I'm sorry to be blunt, but either the two of you have bigger problems than your sex life, or that boy just ain't right!
Well first off let me just say, I think your little weekly time measurement ruler dealy is SO cute and congratulations on your pregnancy. How far along are you? Could his dis-interest right now be due to your pregnancy? You know, some men find it hard to keep sexually interested because they look at you like you're a "Mommy" and don't want to hurt the baby (not that they could) (other guys find prenant women a turn on, go figure!).
You need to further talk to him apparently and tell him you NEED oral attention! Maybe you could take a nice hot shower together or get in the tub so you are "extra" clean for him since he's afraid of germs.
Doesn't he know that women LOVE, LOVE, LOVE finger stimulation??? OMG! I don't know what I'd do without it myself. Just tell him you need it! Maybe, guide his hand down there and say "please touch me". I can't imagine him turning it down.
My hubby will never turn down sex from me, but I have experienced him watching sports on TV and me wanting to fool around. He won't turn me away, but he simply lays me over his lap, begins stimulating me or puts a dildo in, etc - but will still watch the program while I'm laying across him with just that. So, yeah, I don't know what THAT is with men!
Wow, sounds like he has some real issues with female genitalia! Has he always been this way? How do you get by with no foreplay? It might be helpful if he talked with a counselor about these aversions.
And have you ever tried taking a shower together, allowing him to wash your vulva, etc. before oral sex? He might feel more confident that you're completely clean that way.
Sit down with him and TELL him that his inability or unwillingness to make love to your WHOLE body is very frustrating for you. He needs to understand that this IS a problem!
What's with the lack of manual too? I don't know...something seems fishy. My "lazy" alert would go off, sorry. It's one thing to have an aversion to oral, but to have one to manual too? I think he's just playing ya. In fact, he should be making up for the lack of oral, with more manual, not the other way around. If you were a man, and your wife had an aversion, I'd probably tell you to wear a rubber. So, if I were you, and the bathing didn't work, I'd run to the nearest store and get me some dental dams. I do anything to get me some oral. For some reason though, I don't think it'd make a difference with this guy. He'd probably find something else wrong with the dams too. *sigh*. I'm curious. What was the reason he gave you why he can't perform manual?
Have you ever asked him why he doesn't do those things, he is the only one that can give you answers, not people on here that know nothing about him and your relationship.
Does he not mind that you are posting about his sexual behaviour on a public internet site with his REAL NAME and PICTURE, if I were him and found out or worse had someone that knew me see it, I would be major pissed and oral sex would be the least of your problems.
You need to sit down with him & explain how you feel with him, just like you have here. Sometimes men can be clueless, but I gotta say he's pretty darn clueless...sorry! It seems like an issue of not caring more than anything, he seems insensitive to your needs. Even if he didn't like giving oral, every now & then wouldn't be out of line if he cared about your needs. The pregnancy may have some hampering on his desires, but you guys need to talk that through. What to expect when you are expecting talks a bit about that situation. Personally I love going down on my DF, and there is little I wouldn't do to please her if she asked, primarily because I want her to feel good. We are by the way on our first, my second & her third...so congratualations! Back to the desire thing though, everyone is different before pregnancy, additional hormones either kill the drive or turn it on hyperdrive. We made love quite a bit during pregnancy, others stop earlier. Now we are readjusting to the after pregnancy... Bottom line though is communication. We are exploring new areas & re establishing old ones after the hormones so talking about how we feel is really important. Don't assume & don't get blon off. Pick a time where you guys can talk without interruption... I know that can be incredibly difficult given the children, but you really need to make that time to talk. If you have any other questions feel free to ask! Best of luck!
lilbullgrl,You tell your hubby that I have a medical doctor buddy that told me that there are a lot more germs and bacteria in the mouth than in the vagina. He does kiss you doesnt he? He is just using excuses. If he doesnt like to give oral sex , surely you must have known this before you married him, right? All the other advice givin on here has been right on the money so I wont repeat it.
O.K. First of all everyone seems to be right on the money here IMHO. Secondly, I have a question. Was your pregnancy planned? Have you determined the sex of the child? You already have three girls don't you? Is this one a girl too? This may sound shallow and unfair, but he may be upset about ewither of those things. If the pregnancy was not planned and he can blame you in anyway, at all, unfair or not, this may be his form of punishment. Also, if it is a little girl you are getting ready to have, it could be depression. I know I got hit hard with it when my second daughter, 5 daughter for the family,was found out. It hit me hard, especially since her mother does not want any more kids. I cannot blame her, but I really wanted, to the point of getting deeply depressed over this, a son. There are so many things going on with you guys right now, it seems almost quizical. Talk to him, talk to him, talk to him. Be rational, adult, and very concerned when talking to him, but lets say it again, TALK TO HIM!!!!
"watch out or I am going to miss the news"
???
He really said that? He'd really rather watch the news than have you go down on him? I'm sorry to be blunt, but either the two of you have bigger problems than your sex life, or that boy just ain't right!
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martinisnsushi - living the good life since 1963
CL Redbook "Get Inside His Head"
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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!
You need to further talk to him apparently and tell him you NEED oral attention! Maybe you could take a nice hot shower together or get in the tub so you are "extra" clean for him since he's afraid of germs.
Doesn't he know that women LOVE, LOVE, LOVE finger stimulation??? OMG! I don't know what I'd do without it myself. Just tell him you need it! Maybe, guide his hand down there and say "please touch me". I can't imagine him turning it down.
My hubby will never turn down sex from me, but I have experienced him watching sports on TV and me wanting to fool around. He won't turn me away, but he simply lays me over his lap, begins stimulating me or puts a dildo in, etc - but will still watch the program while I'm laying across him with just that. So, yeah, I don't know what THAT is with men!
Good luck.
And have you ever tried taking a shower together, allowing him to wash your vulva, etc. before oral sex? He might feel more confident that you're completely clean that way.
Sit down with him and TELL him that his inability or unwillingness to make love to your WHOLE body is very frustrating for you. He needs to understand that this IS a problem!
Good luck with this and the new baby.
Have you ever asked him why he doesn't do those things, he is the only one that can give you answers, not people on here that know nothing about him and your relationship.
Does he not mind that you are posting about his sexual behaviour on a public internet site with his REAL NAME and PICTURE, if I were him and found out or worse had someone that knew me see it, I would be major pissed and oral sex would be the least of your problems.
Stephen