% of guys-penis size insecurity
Find a Conversation
% of guys-penis size insecurity
| Thu, 01-11-2007 - 6:53am |
This isn't another 'does size matter' question. I'm asking the ladies how many of your boyfriends and husbands have had penis size insecurity, and how many didn't. Also, to the guys, have you had or do you have, insecurity about your size?

Pages
Hump, yes, I've heard complaints about the **extremes** but short ;-) of that, not much.
I think if we just think about this logically, we can see that "fit" is probably pretty low on the totem pole. If it weren't, I would think that we would "hear" a lot more of "You know....John was such a great guy, but his penis was just too thin" or "Mary is just too loose for me." You talk about all of this "worry" as though this is a great concern; as though this is such a "common" occurrence. Last I heard, the average male orgasms from intercourse within 3 to 5 minutes. If "custom fit" was such an "issue," I'd think we'd hear a lot more complaints....plain and simple.
The fact is, that the vagina is a marvelous organ....it can "adjust" as needed. It is also a complex organ...and even a simple thing like "level of arousal" and "amounts and consistency" of vaginal fluid can influence the "feel" (friction). My "first" boyfriend (I was a virgin) was very large, and I couldn't feel him much. You know why? I was only 16 and hadn't a clue. I was very relaxed and horny, but not very aroused (physically). It wasn't that I was large (I'm not), it was that I was very lubricated, and relaxed, and "not very aroused (engorged). I've mentioned this before....as a man, your erection takes on "levels" of arousal along a spectrum, depending on the amount of stimulation provided--right? It's the same thing. If you were so, so aroused, and had a semi-erect penis and you put it in a vagina, you and she both wouldn't feel "much." Does that mean that your penis cannot ever grow to it's full potential? Does that mean that her vagina is large? Certainly you've also encountered an aroused woman or a woman who may be ovulating (the fluids are more slippery and clear like saliva). Often this will interfere with "friction."
In any event....it's silly to even "worry" about fit, IMO, because a man and a woman have what they have....and I think that it's not so much about averages, as it is about the ever wonderful vagina to accommodate most sizes (extremes notwithstanding). And again....we don't have the luxury of "choosing" what comes with what person....so live with it, I say... ;-) Make the best with what you've got....anything from tiny to extra large (penis or vagina). We can't have it all. If you want "that woman" you've got to take whatever size she's packing.... tee hee. We all would like ideal, Hump....and I think that for the most part, we're made to "fit" with most. If not, I think we'd hear slews of complaints here (and I read several sex boards) especially. That is just not the case.
Anyhow....two women with the same exact vagina(tightness) with two different consistencies of fluid will feel differently. One will feel "much" tighter than the other. It may still stand that she feels "loose" but at least put the onus on the appropriate factor. ;-)
Edited 1/17/2007 5:46 am ET by rain_dancer_iam
If all it takes is a "caring partner" to cure a person of their insecurity, then there wouldn't be any need for therapy and counselling. Sorry, I was married to a VERY insecure man, not about his size, but about himself in general. I loved him when I married him, and I loved him for the 20 years I stayed married to him. I did everything humanly possible to build up his self esteem.....and all I got for that was "What do YOU know?" After 20 years of trying to build him up while he was busy tearing me down (to try to make me as 'worthless' as he saw himself) I gave up and got a divorce.
The "caring partner" is the LAST person an insecure partner will believe! They feel you only say nice things because you're stuck with them! They also wonder why the caring partner stays with them....because they know they're worth nothing. It's a catch 22 situation, and they don't understand "love" because they never learned to love themselves.
Rainy, I agree with everything you say about the vagina being able to adjust to different sizes.My own personal view with fit is is this..At 7" I have been with a few women, (fully aroused, these were not one night stands)who were shallow enough that I had to be careful about going too deep. That does take a little bit from the experience from a mans point of view The need to be careful while thrusting is just an added component..Deal breaker?..Ofcourse not..From my wifes point of view, her college boy friend of 9" was not as conciderate and would get carried away and hit bottom, cervix, whatever and hurt her. She said it normally ruined the experience because she would anticipate him going too deep. On the "lets talk about sex" UK site, there are at least 4 issues about "fit"..Hes too long, hes too short hes too thick...Fit is an issue for many. Then you have a woman who would like a guy long enough to push on the cul-de-sac, and the man who may be tiny who would like a slightly tighter woman...There are as many combinations as there are people. ..Here is a post from THAT site...
"""""Thing is this position may have worked in the past with previous bf's, but the way U 2 fit together may need some experimentation to find something less uncomfortable.
Otherwise I'm afraid it will have to be a tube of lube!
Funny how theres alot of discussion about 'sizes' both male and female on this board at the mo, but no-one has mentioned thickness! Certainly this is just as important in the 'how it feels/fitting together problems'? Just a thought?""""""
CRx
...... See,I`m not the only one who sees fit is an issue for some couples...I do think we see eye to eye, just a few differences of opinion.
"Funny how theres alot of discussion about 'sizes' both male and female on this board at the mo, but no-one has mentioned thickness!"
Hump, the reason there isn't much talk about it, is most likely because it really isn't that common an issue, just like I said.... ;-) Length would probably be more of an issue than width....most notably where there are extremes.
....we do see eye to eye, Hump....(assuming you're cross-eyed of course.) ;-) We can discuss "fit" all we want, it won't change anyone's penis or vagina size....the only way to get a good fit it, is to treat people like clothing...and try them on for size (allowing for shrinkage of course...tee hee). Since we both agree that it's not something we'd toss someone who is otherwise great away for, then why even bother discussing it, as though we have a choice. I'd think we would all ideally "hope" for great "fit," but we just don't have that luxury. Humans are not perfect....and our bodies will especially are forever transforming... You never know what you're going to get...because what was there today, may not be what is there tomorrow.... ;-)
you said
I just do not think that size is all that much of a "matter" as I have rarely ever heard of any complaints about not "fitting" from either men or women. Most of the "loose" comments referencing women's vagina's were mostly the product of insecure "boys" who were speaking about women barely out of teenagedom. ;-)
------------------
lol so then what are women who claim they can't feel the guy or make make negative comments about a guys size??
Retaliators? ;-)
I didn't mean for that statement to come out the way it did, I was simply trying to show "ignorance" (particularly amongst teens) about women's bodies, because the term is MOST COMMONLY used with reference to teenagers (when a woman is suppose to be her tightest).
If a woman cannot feel a man, it may have nothing to do with his size....and everything to do with those other factors that I've repeatedly mentioned. It's just not logical when you hear a comment of let's say an 18 year old woman about how "loose" she is. I doubt that is anything wrong with her vagina.... that's what I meant. And yes, as sad as it is, there were young men in my day who thought that just because a girl didn't feel "tight" she was stretched out and must have been around the block. ;-)
"lol so then what are women who claim they can't feel the guy or make make negative comments about a guys size??"
CONFUSED?
Pages