GUYS: sex without feelings

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
GUYS: sex without feelings
43
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 5:23pm

guys, would you have sex without having feelings for the person?

virgins, would you have sex just for the sake for it with just anyone for the first time? isn't the first time important and special for guys too?

Pages

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 5:30pm

Hon, I'm not a guy but I've dated and known many in my lifetime and I can tell you that YES, men can and do have sex all the time with no regard for the woman.

There ARE exceptions to that rule, of course, my DH being one. He waited until we met and fell in love to lose his virginity. But I can tell you that he's a rare guy. Few guys I've met would wait for the right girl to have sex the first time. If a guy is religious, principled or determined to wait, it can happen but as I said, it seems to be rare.

Most young guys in particular, are driven by sexual desire, not a desire for romantic love and therefore, will have sex at any and every given opportunity. And you know what the old song says...."the girls all get prettier at closing time."




Edited 2/6/2006 5:34 pm ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 8:57pm
Let me ask a question. What is the world's oldest profession?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2006
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 9:42pm
Guys are for the most part wired differently so we generally have no problems with sex without feelings. Most guys will take it if offered. Once you have sex with a person that you love though, just the physical act will never compete again.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 10:39pm

I didn't think we were talking about professionals in the sex industry though. I was just talking about regular, everday people. But of course, women CAN have sex with no feelings but they don't typically prefer it. Especially when considering that women generally run higher personal risks when choosing a promiscuous lifestyle...with birth control failure, potential for violence, STD's, etc.

And from everthing I've read and heard about prostitutes, they certainly don't go into the business because they enjoy sex with strange men! They tend to do it because they have been abused, are into drugs or have other emotional issues. And of course, there's the money....IF they work for themselves and aren't giving it to a pimp, madam, BF, drug supplier, that is.




Edited 2/7/2006 9:30 am ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 12:06am

Men like sex. Most men are willing to have sex with any female that offers it to them. Unless they're in a committed relationship, he will have sex with NO strings, and NO obligations to her. Particularly if he's already said he has NO feelings for her. Of course, not all men are alike, but if a man says he has no feelings for you, that doesn't mean he doesn't want sex with you. It simply means that he'd love to have sex with you or any other woman who offers it. WITHOUT any feelings. And definitely without any obligations to you.

Someone mentioned prostitution. I think he meant that some women have sex with no feelings, and of course, even women who aren't prostitutes will do that....but those women have serious commitment issues. And the fact that men will go to prostitutes just shows that men can have sex with NO feelings whatever for the woman.

Sex without feelings is nothing more than a physical exercise. You can get that in a gym without worrying about your feelings being hurt or your heart being broken.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 6:51am
I think most men can separate sex and emotion quite easily, though there's no doubt that sex is WAY better with someone you care about...and if you truly love her, then it's on a yet totally different level. I lost my virginity to a female friend in college. I enjoyed her company, but there was no romance involved. It was the same for both of us. We just wanted to have sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 8:17am
I agree what was said earlier, sex with emotion is a lot better than no strings sex.(for me) By the way, an interesting H B O show called Cathouse shows women who work at a "Chicken Ranch" type house in Vegas. They all say they absolutely love sex, and what better way than to get paid for it in a controlled setting...lol Very interesting show , not just sex and T and A. Covers everything form guys who cant get it anywhere else, to couples who want to try a 3some, to women who would like to try a bi experience.(and everything in between)
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 9:28am

Of course, those women will say that they love sex, Hump. It plays into the fantasy aspect of what they're doing. And it pays the bills! LOL!

And of course, their customers want to believe that they enjoy what they're doing. They won't solicit much business unless they can at least pretend that they enjoy screwing strangers.

No, they aren't there to enjoy themselves, they are there to provide a service/fantasy to a customer. And they do whatever they must to get the guy in and out as quickly as possible. After all, the more they do, the more they make.

Most of them have issues that lead them to that life in the first place though. Let's be real. I never met a woman in my life who said that she dreamed of being a prostitute when she grew up! Because she liked sex? No way.




Edited 2/7/2006 4:44 pm ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 6:22pm

Have you ever been a prostitute? Do you know why ALL prostitutes do what they do? I'm just asking, because you seem to be making quite a few sweeping generalizations about the nature of that profession and all that encompasses it.

But to everyone else and the OP:

I think culture and gender roles play a HUGE role in this. Because of societal norms, expectations, stereotypes, and gender roles, most people think men and women are very, very different in many regards - particularly when it deals with sex. I would argue that women can enjoy and want meaningless sex as much as men and both genders can yearn for meaningful sex with the one they love all the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 6:28pm
I wasn't referring to the prostitutes. I was referring to men who use them. That's what the original post was about; "GUYS". My point was that men throughout the ages have used prostitutes, even men who could be considered "normal everyday men". In the majority of cases I think we can assume they don't have much feelings for the prostitutes. I can see how I left that open to be interpretted wrongly and I agree with everything you are saying.

Pages