Guys these days ... lol

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Registered: 04-04-2003
Guys these days ... lol
56
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 1:56pm
Gosh I feel like sexual customs are changing or something: I have a brand new relationship and we had sex for the first time last night. Without acting like it was the slightest bit unusual, when he was ready to orgasm he pulled out, yanked off the rubber, and held his penis about a foot or so over my face and masturbated all over me! Is this normal? I mean I have had a couple of men do similar things in the past but only when I knew them! I didn't so much mind as I was totally surprised ... there was nothing -mean- about it, he snuggled up afterwards and was totally friendly and cool ... I was like, ummm, OK ... one of my eyes was bloodshot this AM but otherwise I'm no worse for the wear ... still this is so wierd, I'm laughing b/c I guess I'm just not _au courant_ ....
Avatar for katmandoo2001
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 5:04pm
You're kidding, right? Gee, I never had to do anything I didn't like or felt uncomfortable with, just to be with a guy. Of course, most of the guys I liked, liked me and wanted more than just sex from me, too. Maybe that was the difference.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 6:13pm
One thing I just thought of, which I think is a good and normal trend: almost all of the men that I have had sex with over the past few years are much, much more comfortable touching and pleasuring themselves in front of me. It makes me more comfortable to do it myself. I can think of a few years ago when I never, ever saw that happen. It's really hot to, e.g., step out of the shower and crawl into bed with a guy who's unashamedly stroking himself in preparation for me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 7:53pm
I love a big load on my face -- I'd get upset if he didn't shoot it on me like that. I also like to pull and drain the tip or his penis into my mouth so that every drop comes out. That can sometimes take a couple minutes, however, it is worth it (especially according to my SO) because then it doesn't get the sheets or his boxers sticky.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 1:43am
Honey, I don't think that's a "trend" at all! Men have been "unashamedly" touching themselves since Adam!
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 4:22am
"hey, the facts are that guys want gals . the more the better. that's the breaking news. dont fool yourself. is important to guys and they are going to weed thru those who don't and those who do."

Um hmm. Seems I underestimated just how much 'some' of you women know men after all. ;]

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 10:04am
i did not mean that girls should do things they don't enjoy but that they should learn to like the things that men enjoy. big difference.
Avatar for sugarbeat
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 12:05pm
it's one thing to be open-minded and give things a try. however, it's difficult to just learn to like something if it isn't your thing. i've had men request things that would likely be physically harmful to me, not to mention psychologically. we all have different backgrounds, experiences and boundaries. i agree that it's important to find pleasure in your partner's pleasure, but it's not doing anyone any good if you are doing something that is harmful or makes you feel uncomfortable or bad.

further, i have found that men ask for things that they themselves would not do (i.e. anal, being in a threesome with someone of the same sex). why should a woman succomb to a man's every whim and learn to like it? after all there are two people involved in the interaction, not a master and slave (unless of course both partners are into that ;).

Avatar for katmandoo2001
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 12:13pm
Isn't that what we all want from a partner? But a "positive attitude" does not equate to saying "yes" to whatever a man wants to do to or with you. Including "taking a load" in the face. Nope, don't think so.

I love men but I also love myself and I want the same things my partner does....respect, compassion and yes, a positive attitude toward my feelings and desires, without judgement.

However, I wouldn't be with a man who wanted me to endure something he knew I didn't enjoy or feel good about. Just as I would never ask my DH to do something he didn't truly enjoy. This has nothing to do with an open mind though.


Edited 7/14/2004 12:32 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 12:20pm
"Learn to like what men enjoy." That implies a lack of choice and sorry, I don't agree with that.

As you said, Sugar, what if a man likes threesomes, should his partner forget her own standards and boundaries and just go with it against her better judgement? Absolutely not.

IF you're doing things ONLY for your partner, getting no enjoyment or pleasure out it yourself, then there will be resentment.

And I agree that IF you try something, for his benefit, that isn't compromising your own morals or boundaries, then THAT'S being open-minded, whether you continue to indulge in the act or not. You were willing to try it.

But I could care less if a man "got away" because I refused to compromise myself sexually or morally. Not a big loss. Besides, another one always comes along shortly.




Edited 7/14/2004 12:28 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 1:01pm
I disagree Kat ... I think all Sugarbeat is saying is, it's fun when a lover tries to do what really turns you on. That's all. That's the best attitude for sure. I mean, similarly, if I were on a date with her, I'd try to accommodate her particular desires for sure, unless for some wierd reason they were truly offputting. ;-) I certainly haven't walked too much on the wild side -- never done anal or anything -- but what the heck: if the mood was right, I don't see why I wouldn't. I would actually say exactly the same thing as Sugarbeat -- I want to be a really fun lover too and if the girl was particularly into something and easygoing and cool about it, I can't really imagine why I wouldn't do it for her. Ya know?

I think the cardinal rule in all this is just to leave the other person feeling like a million bucks. Then they're going to come back for more, and of course that's the whole point! ;-)