Sounds to me as if they are in it for their pleasure only. I think that perhaps the relationships you describe are more lust based. Quickie sex, no emotion, no attachment! I think if a man actually cares for you, he will be a little more attentive to your enjoyment as well. This is where the slower more tender love making comes into play.
Those men are doing it like they've seen in the movies, too. The difference is, the movies you've seen are beautiful sweeping romances and the movie they've seen is Debbie Does Dallas. They do it that way because that's what they know. Slowing down is the best thing I've ever done for myself sexually. I never did go jackhammer fast, though, even while masturbating. It always seemed like I'd get injured going that fast. Going slow is such delicious torture, I don't know why any guy would want it any other way. You might be able to convince him to slow down by explaining how much better it'll be for him that way. Well, that is, if he hasn't completely desensitized himself from all those years of hyperspeed...
I agree with the others that it's all individual, and that you have to let your wants & needs be known.
Personally, I was with one guy that went so slow, I lost interest. Some of my favorite dirty words are "faster" and "harder"! That's not to say that sometimes I don't enjoy a slower, more sensual event, but in general, it's quite a workout.
I have to agree with everyone else and say that not all guys are like that. I've only slept with 3 guys, but all three were different. The first guy was like you are saying, jackrabbit, in it for his pleasure, not understanding how to truly please me. He was the first guy I ever slept with, so I didn't know how to speak up for myself (by that I mean, I didn't know what I wanted really). The second guy I ever slept with was a FWB at the time, he's now my fiancee, anyways. He is very experienced in pleasing women and that is his first thought (even as a FWB). He always went how I wanted it, fast and hard, slow and long, until I had had at least one O, then he went how he wanted (within reason). The third guy I slept with, I took his virginity, and he was like my fiancee. He wanted fast and hard or slow and long or me on top, in all truth very experimental. So no, all men don't do it fast, just some. (If this thoroughly confused you, I apologize, and feel free to bug the heck out of me for some clarification)
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Well yeah, that is the answer, tell him what you want.
Z
There are many many MANY men who are into slow and long and drawn out...just as there are women who are into fast and furious.
Sounds to me as if they are in it for their pleasure only. I think that perhaps the relationships you describe are more lust based. Quickie sex, no emotion, no attachment! I think if a man actually cares for you, he will be a little more attentive to your enjoyment as well. This is where the slower more tender love making comes into play.
Where did you ever get the idea that life is like the movies?
Slowing down is the best thing I've ever done for myself sexually. I never did go jackhammer fast, though, even while masturbating. It always seemed like I'd get injured going that fast. Going slow is such delicious torture, I don't know why any guy would want it any other way.
You might be able to convince him to slow down by explaining how much better it'll be for him that way. Well, that is, if he hasn't completely desensitized himself from all those years of hyperspeed...
I agree with the others that it's all individual, and that you have to let your wants & needs be known.
Personally, I was with one guy that went so slow, I lost interest. Some of my favorite dirty words are "faster" and "harder"! That's not to say that sometimes I don't enjoy a slower, more sensual event, but in general, it's quite a workout.
Here's a poll I just started:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlletstalkab&msg=21868.1
It might help give you an idea of what the people visiting the board prefer most of the time.
follow me to my partners in the siggy exchange:
Make Him Moan ~ Ask the Relationship Saver
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