hand job instead?
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hand job instead?
| Thu, 04-14-2005 - 5:48pm |
It is that time of the month for me and I don't like having sex at that time. Other times we have sex at least 3 times a week if not more. My H wanted a hand job although I enjoyed giving him one it seemed pretty selfish to me.
What do you think?

I love giving my man oral during that time of the month.
I do get frustrated that there is not much in it for me as far as direct contact goes (and we are still too new for me to initiate sex during that time)...however, I get off just knowing how good I make him feel. Its such a boost to my feminism. He loves it, and I genuinely love to make him feel good. That's as far as it goes for me.
Selfish of him or selfish of you? You know, you DO have the right to say no to your spouse if you aren't up to sexual activity. He is your partner, not your master.
But IF you enjoyed pleasing him then don't allow yourself to be resentful about it. Just say no if you really don't want to do it next time. He can take care of himself occasionally. It won't kill him.
What works for us at ALL times is while one is giving oral(seemingly to finish) or manual(seemingly to finish), and the giver becomes sexually aroused as well, we take matters into our own hands or position ourselves to receive manual from the receiver. If I'm giving him oral or manual, then he or I will perform manual on me, and vise-verse(69 is not a favorite since it takes too much concentration). It actually progresses things because it's so erotic to "feel" your partner's genitals while receiving oral or manual. I specified at ALL times because we aren't affected sexually during that time of the month, and this is our usual anyhow while one is giving.
So if you get aroused while servicing him, then just take care of things with your free hand or if he doesn't mind, ask him to do it for you. Some men like DH are not weirded out by the blood(especially if it's manual), particularly while extremely aroused.
Edited 4/14/2005 6:45 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
If you enjoyed it, then why do you feel he was selfish?
I think...
yu're not a blow up doll, and you don't have to be "available" to him every day. Surely he CAN survive three or four days without sex??
I'm not saying don't give him a HJ if you WANT to...
What's selfish about it? It's unfair for you because you can't join in but it's not selfish of him. You can't/won't have sex and he can still enjoy a HJ. What's wrong with him asking for one? You don't HAVE to give him one, but if you enjoy it, why not? The only time it's selfish is if he insists or forces you to give him a handjob.
He could stimulate your clitoris or use a vibrator externally on you. It's quite possible for you to have an orgasm without penetration and he might be quite happy to help you out too.