handjobs - i want to get better

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2005
handjobs - i want to get better
7
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 2:12pm
everytime i try to get my boyfriend off, my arms get tired too quickly. ive tried switching hands and sometimes using my mouth but any guy will tell you, its not the same sensation. im always so close but then my muscles give out! does anyone have any suggestions?? thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 3:50pm

Just because he's not finishing, it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. How you're doing it doesn't have that much to do with it......it's something holding him back. Lot's of guys don't respond to a girl because they're so used to doing it themselves. You could ask him if you're going to fast, too slow, too gently, to roughly....because all guys like it different....and he's the only one who knows how he likes it.

What do you mean using your mouth isn't the same sensation? Of course it's not, and if you ask any guy, most of them will prefer oral sex over manual sex ANY day! It could just be that your guy doesn't respond to anything but his own touch.

Whatever it is, don't blame yourself.....if it's taking so long that your arms hurt, then he's the one that has the problem, not you.

Just as an FYI, you don't "make" him finish, he allows himself to finish. He's enjoying what you're doing, but that's not all it takes.....it takes his mind to allow it to happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 4:11pm

Hi

I think I responded to this same question on the SOLO board, but here is my suggestion. Check out the site: www.handjobadvice.com. It's a video with a girl using a dildo to demonstrate a handjob on a guy. Perhaps changing your technique will have him cumming.

Red Baron

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 4:50pm
Ok, this is what I do and my man swears its amazing and like nothing else he has ever felt! Use both hands (LOTS and LOTS of lube too) and as you are stroking him up and down twist you fist around like your opening a bottle or jar. Keep downing this especially as you reach the tip.....I also suggest that each wrist turn in a different direction.
I gave one of these hand jobs to my man on Sat and it took less then 7 minutes to make him a very happy man!
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 6:01pm
Let HIM take over when you get tired. Or better yet, have him SHOW you how he does himself. I'm quite certain he knows the quickest ways to get himself off!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 7:56am

Hey

Couldn't agree more. There is only of you that knows the best way to get him off and that is him. Ask him to tell you what feels good if you are unsure. Better yet, have him show you, by putting his hand over yours as you do it. If you get tired, try doing oral for a time, then start the handjob again.

I have some tips for ya, now these may or may not work on him but give it a try.

1) Place your ring finger to the bottom of the shaft, your middle finger in the middle and index at the top.and wrap your thumb around the top towards the head (should be aligned with your index finger.)

2)grip it. Not too gently. the fundamental mistake women make is that when they grip a man's penis is that they grip too gently, rather like they like to be touched. Be firm. Think about it like a glass that you are holding that you don't want to slip.

3) Ask him if that feels good. Now guide your hand up and down, the action is actually in the wrist not your hand, your fingers should stay where they are.

Good Luck x

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 5:27pm
I love handjobs because of the slow buildup and toe curling orgasms. The thing about it is that they can take a while. If you go fast and hard to start your arm will get tired. What you want to do is walk him up the ladder. That is start off slowly, kissing and making out, getting him turned on. Then slowly fondle him, take your time. As he becomes more excited slowly increase the stimulation. When you feel the time is right then increase the tempo. If you build him up slowly you can prevent the fatigue. The other thing is over time you will get to know what he likes and learn how to read him. Sometimes I like lube other times its better without it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 5:51am
Watch him masturbate. Look at how he stimulates himself. Should be a great turn on for you too.