from hard to soft in 2.5

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
from hard to soft in 2.5
5
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 9:58pm
I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months and the sex was ackward in the beginning but it got much better over time. my 10 yr. old had been gone to her dads for the beginning of this relationship. Now she is home and the sex isn't the same. He can be rock hard in the beginning of foreplay but it seems that about 5 to 10 minutes later, he is not very hard and he tries to have intercourse with me. He will then after a few tries become hard again but he orgasms way before I get there. What do I do about this? We have talked about it and we both aren't too sure what the problem is......HELP!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 9:48am
i am 54 and get that way sometimes. i have to keep it hard because im very small like about 4 inches so i get off of her and she puts baby oil on it and plays with it and teases me till its rock hard and then we go at it till she cums and then i can cum so it works pretty well
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2003
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 3:46pm
It sounds like somethings distracting him from your sexual experience; and it could be just him, or it could be something he sees changed in you. It doesn't have to be anything currently occuring during the sex itself either, it could be anything; work, stress, change in what he percieves as your response to him, etc.. Or if your daughter is in the same building now, perhaps you or he are concerned (conciously or subconciously) that she can become aware of your sexual activity, and it changes your behavior. You aren't as synchronized as before; as the guy is usually responsible for timing during sex, either he is having trouble interpreting your reaction to him, or he is having trouble satisfying you while getting there himself. Getting you off while timing his own orgasm is always tricky, and anything that interferes with his concentration will cause problems.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 4:27pm

How long has it been happening?

I'd say that it's what dextar talked about - distraction of some kind. There's a good chance that it's because your daughter in now at home, but it could be anything like workplace stress and simply the chance in household routine throwing him out too. I don't think that you should panic at this stage if it's only been a few weeks. Hopefully it'll resolve itself. Just don't talk too much about it and put too much pressure on the guy - these things have a way of mentally blowing themselves out of proportion and he'll get performance anxiety which could lead to him having trouble every time to get it up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 8:34pm
thanks alot for the advise. it seems to be just the way you said. I'm trying to have some alone time with him but never seems to work, but daughter will be going to her dads the first of nov. so I'm trying to plan something then....thanks again!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 8:36pm
thanks a bunch!!!! going to go with your advise!!!