he can't get it in!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2007
he can't get it in!
5
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 6:46pm
My hymen won't break!
I am a virgin and recently started having sex with my boyfriend...if you can call it that. He can't get his penis inside me, I am assuming my hymen is what is blocking it, but we've tried over and over to get it in and break it and it is not working! Is it possible that my hymen is abnormally thick? Should I be worried at this point?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 11:50pm

It's very unlikely that it's your hymen, it's unlikely that you even have one. More likely is that you're not relaxed and aroused and well lubricated. There is a lot more to intercourse than simply pushing the penis into the vagina. All women need foreplay, and virgins need even more. Foreplay meaning exactly what it says. Lots of clitoral stimulation, oral or manual, and being relaxed and well lubricated. As a virgin, you're nervous, and your nervousness is preventing you from relaxing, and preventing lubrication. Is he able to get his fingers inside your vagina? If not, then you're not ready for intercourse. If you're not aroused and relaxed, your vagina will be tight, and stay tight. You can try some sexual lubricant, which should help, too.

If it's not working, then just let it go....and try again another time. There's no rush and if it's causing you pain, it's just not going to work.

YOu and your b/f should check out this web site so that you can better understand what's going on, and what you should be doing. www.the-clitoris.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 9:14am
You are probably not lubricated and aroused enough. Spending extra time on foreplay and adding lubrication will probably be helpful. Also, if you try WOT you will be able to control things and it might work a bit better for you. Take your time with foreplay (even if it's an hour or more) and enjoy all of the feelings you are experiencing -- thinking about 'getting him in' will distract you, so let go of that.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 12:35pm

Previous advise is very good, he must be patient, and try to relax and use additional lubricant to make the initial penetration easier for you.

However, if you still have problems you really need to see your GYN DR. Some women do in fact have thicker ( tougher even )hymens and they cause excessive pain and/or bleeding if breaking of the hymen is successfull. Hymenotomy is the the surgical incision of the hymen and can be performed in an office setting with local anesthetic. Or, you can easily and over a period of a few weeks, can rupture your own hymen with digital stretching and dilation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2006
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 4:14pm
I had never heard of this, but I was watching a movie about the sex therapists Masters & Johnson and SHE had this problem when they married!











iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2007
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 9:42pm
Are you sure he's hard enough? If he is very nervous he might not be aroused enough and that could be ther problem. The fact that you've been having problems might add to his anxiety. Probably not; but it's something that might be looked into.