He can't last and I can't cum! HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2007
He can't last and I can't cum! HELP!
4
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 11:48pm

Hello!! I already put this discussion but I'm just afraid of making a mistake. Below is what I type earlier. I love him to death but he doesn't make me horny anymore, I dont get butterflies in my stomach anymore. His like my best friend, I can do anything with him but it just dont feel that way. Sad thing is he thinks things are going so good and they are but I just feel like, I'm ready to move on. I kinda want to be alone. That will brake his heart. I feel guilty, I guess, for letting him lead on. I just dont want to break up with him for no reason and catch him by surprise. Its bad when he kisses and I want to puke. I do feel guilty for leading him on but its just.... I guess, its hard to undo the damage but I believe in forgiveness, which I have but its not the same feeling. I'm just afraid of karma, that I make a mistake. You know payback by him or someother guy or like from the guy from work. Yes, the other guy I do like him and we spoke and we both dont want a relationship now, specially if I get out of this one but he wants to date me. It first started as his hot, his my friend, and we are both attracted to each other. Now, tension is so big!!! Im starting to have feelings for him which I didn't wanted to. Ive notice b/c we had a disagreement and my feelings got hurt. And he kept apologizing but I dont know. I am also best friend with his brother but I dont know if his bro knows. I feel like I want to puke because I can't do want I want to do and I'm worried about his feelings. I just dont want to make a mistake. Most of you recommended me, to cut him loose but still.... its not easy. Let me tell you last time, I came I mean that I came was like..... 1 month and a half. I feel bad but I have to play with myself. When he goes to the bathroom, I have to play with myself and I finished. It just sucks because I want to have that experience again!! I missed it. Sex its not bad its just he doesnt last by the time Im warming his done... That's a plus Im frustrated. I WANT TO CUM!! What things can we do to make it intense? When he eats me he gets to tiring after like 3-5 minutes.... When I go down on him I'm there for a good 10- 15 minutes or less.... Also, when he hits the spot he stops, Ive told him many times when I get all intense not to stop, he does!!...... HELP!!! Though, I have a stomachache as I am typing this because I think I know what I need to do but dont know how.... But the summer is coming and I'm really the only thing he has. Should I? And how? I've never really done a break up.... Is this a mistake? Should I find another job? Thank you for the ppl who advice me first and thank you again for your recommendation. Thank you. Below, is what I type earlier.

I don't know where else to turn. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 wonderful years. The past 8 months its been horrible, its been a roller coaster ride. Last ear, around October he began acting very unlike him... Aggressive, mean, and dry. BTW, I am 21 he is 20, I'm older by 4 months. We would always fight almost every weekend which is unlike us. I do things and schedule my days around him and he was accusing me of not loving him and that I wasn't doing enough. When I would try to see him or I wanted hang out with him, he always wanted to stay home and play games. He would make me cry all the time, in my house, work, & school. Around November for the first time ever, somebody else got my attention. A guy I've known for awhile but never pay attention because I have a boyfriend. Well he was the one who made me feel good when I came crying to work. First time I looked the other way. We kissed few times and that's been it.... problem is I never felt guilty because if my boyfriend would have never treated me like that I dont think this would have happen. My bf and I took a break for a week, and we got back together. Now, I wished I would've waited longer. The hardest thing about the break is was the fact that I didn't wanted to hurt is feelings. But after all those problems, it made me feel like there's somebody out there. I used to think we were going to do the whole nine yards but not since January when he accused me of alot things that hurt my feelings so much. The point is we are still together, things are so much better, we've spoke and on that break he realize he did messed up; his trying to fix everything and being more opened minded. Which he is.... But lately, he cums way too fast, in like 2 minutes and I can't cum. NOT KIDDING!! The longest his gone is maybe 10 minutes but thats been after I told him I can't cum. Lately, its really hard for me to orgasm. Is there something wrong with me? Should I buy some lubricant? He has never masturbated will that be the cause why he can't last more that 5 minutes at least? Problem is, I love him to death but I don't think he turns me on as much as he used to after hurting my feelings. The other guy, which we are really good friends but nothing has happened turns me on so quickly. I see him and I get wet. I feel guilty for liking somebody else when you are in a relationship but not guilty for being attractive to him. I'm just afraid of karma, because my bf been trying a lot lately.... but maybe it was too late. Please I need help. I dont know what else to do, the sex is not as intensive like it used to. Why, why does he cum so fast? and why can't i cum? I dont know where else to turn... Please give me you recommendation and advice.I greatly appreciate this. Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 1:00am

You have too many things going on in your life, and you're making yourself crazy. Take things one at a time and fix them.

If you don't want to be with your b/f anymore, then end it. Yes, his feelings will be hurt. Maybe they won't be, maybe he's been fighting with you because HE wants out, but doesn't know how either. You won't be ending it for no reason, you'll be ending it because it's not good anymore.

If the guy makes you want to puke, how do you expect to have good sex with him? You can't have orgasms if you're sick of him. End the relationship, don't worry about orgasms.

This other guy.....he looks good to you because you're not happy. Don't jump into another relationship immediately.....take some time to be alone....and learn how to love and respect yourself. When you can do that, then you're ready for another relationship, and not until.

Fix one thing at a time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2006
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 2:49am

Sakura is right.

Your miserable your not married you didn't take any vowels and
trying to protect someones feelings can hurt you worse in certain
cases like this one. Your young and the love has died or you wouldn't
want to puke or get excited about another guy. The sex is bad because
of the situation no dought in my mind that's why your having trouble.
For him it depends on how often you have sex. If it's rare then he's not
going to last long if it's often then his stamina would be higher.
I would end the relationship if it were me. I'd just tell him that
you can't get past the past and the past has ruined your relationship
and the love you once had for him. It will be hard but in the end you
will be happy. A relationship that's turned sour Isn't good for any body.

That's my 2 cents
kareese

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 8:33am

As Sakura said, you have a lot going on. Ending a relationship is never easy, but it doesn't look like the one you're in is going to work out. It's no doubt hurting both of you -- maybe he's just not ready to see it.

I think to feel good about yourself, you need to break off your relationship with your BF. I don't think you need to bring up the past, but just let him know that it's not working for you, and make a break of it.

Rebound relationships rarely (if ever) work, so I would step lightly with the guy at work. While you might be tempted to have a sexual relationship -- even if you're not going to 'date' each other, he's someone you work with. What if that gets ugly? Are you willing to put yourself in a position of having to continue working with him? Would you want to quit your job and go elsewhere? It can be a difficult situation.

Take time to be single for a while and figure out what you are looking for. Give yourself an opportunity to meet other men. You may find that your attraction to your co-worker isn't as strong as you thought it was, and save yourself some additional heartache there.

Once you feel comfortable with all of the decision you have made, then you'll be ready to enter into another relationship. You'll feel good about yourself, and you'll be ready to move on with life.


Here's an article you may also want to look at:


The Dangers of Dating a Coworker

http://love.ivillage.com/snd/snddodonts/0,,askmen_bg0pppvp,00.html

{{{H U G S}}} Let us know how it goes.



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Edited 5/10/2007 9:01 am ET by cl-misty_mae




iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2007
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 9:45pm
Thank you so much for the advice..... Though, I didn't clear few things up. I dont think I said why I want to have I?.... He doesn't brush his teeth.... yeah, now he does or somtimes, if he remembers... He says he forgets or if his running late, he wont do it. That's why sometimes I want puke,his breath is not as friendly. Sometimes I have to remind him sad but true. NOT KIDDING!!! And no, I will not date my coworker. If I get out of a relationship, its going to take me awhile b4 I jumped into another, with him or not. Im not worried about that. But again, thank you so much for the advice, I do appreciate this, you have no idea.