He cant make me cum

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2004
He cant make me cum
4
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 12:32am
Hey everyone,

I just started having sex with my bf about 3 weeks ago, we have been together for 2 years tho. He has not made me cum yet. Is that my fault?... or should he be doing things differntly..I just dont understand. Please help me. Thanks..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 12:53am
Some women can orgasm very easily, while others almost never orgasm during sex. I suggest that you show him what you really like. Don't get too down if you don't orgasm every time you have sex. Just enjoy it, and it will happen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 1:31am
It's not really about him making you cum - it's about you getting there yourself. Simply; he's not you. He doesn't know exactly what feels good where. He can help you have an orgasm by doing the right things to you at the right time, but it's up to you to help him and guide him.

Do you know how to have an orgasm? I assume that you have been having orgasms before? Do you masturbate? If so, you probably have a good idea of what works for you and how to get there. Knowing what works can help you guide your partner to helping you have that orgasm. It doesn't matter if he uses his hands, his mouth, his fingers or his penis. You get him to use whatever gets you there. If you don't know how, how does he know what to do? Girls are different from guys. It's not that common for women to have orgasms just from having a guy jump on top of them and pumping away.

On the lighter side, it's not unusual that you're not having an orgasm yet after only three weeks of sex. It takes practice. It's also possible that you aren't relaxed and comfortable enough with having sex to really let go and have an orgasm. I wouldn't worry about it yet. Get used to having sex and play around with different ways of making it feel better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 1:41am
You're right! He CAN'T make you have an orgasm. Men don't "give" women orgasms. They can only help them get there. You have to learn how to have them. Believe me, it doesn't happen in 3 weeks. Some women take years to learn how. But, not having orgasms doesn't mean you can't enjoy sex. Sex in all it's forms can be, and is wonderful. Orgasms are the icing on the cake, not the cake itself.

As Westridge asked, do you know how to give yourself one? Do you know that it's usually clitoral stimulation, before and during intercourse that gives women orgasms? 80% of women don't have orgasms from intercourse alone. Does HE know that? Both of you need to know how women's bodies work, and work on it together. Check out www.the-clitoris.com and learn what makes you tick.

Orgasms don't make sex good.......good sex makes orgasms happen. Patience! It'll happen when you learn how, and learn not to worry about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 11:12am
Hello you!

You've only had sex with your boyfriend for three weeks now, it is too early to worry about not being able to orgasm. It takes time for a woman to orgasm, it is definitely not as easy as it is for a man. Explore your bodies and have a nice foreplay. Tell your boyfriend how you want him and lead him to your hot spots. Don't panic about it and enjoy.