He doesn't like oral

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
He doesn't like oral
7
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 6:55pm

Okay, I am no longer seeing this guy I was dating for about a month but I really want some honest opinions on the fact he said he does not give women oral sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 7:46pm

Let's see...he didn't like giving or receiving oral, he made you do all the work, he only came by means of masturbation, and he didn't like the way you expressed what pleasure you got from it.


Sounds to me like he was using you as a replacement for his hand, in other words he would have preferred you to quietly use your body to emulate as much as possible what he experienced during masturbation.


I don't know what else you two had going on, there must have been something that attracted you to him, but trust me...you can do better.


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Photobucket 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 9:21pm

I guess the not like oral part doesn't seem that odd to me. I don't have a problem with oral myself, but I can see why some people would be grossed out or uncomfortable with it. It wasn't that long ago that oral sex was seen as deviant sexual behavior, now it's become the norm, but it doesn't mean everybody has to be comfortable with it.

Aside from asking for oral sex, did you try to tell him about other things you wanted in bed? It sounds as though you were going along with the things he wanted rather than what you wanted and then got resentful. You should have had a conversation with him about this outside of bed rather than just going along and feeling resentful.

I think if he orgasmed when he masturbated, but not with you, then chances are that he was uncomfortable with you. It's not that surprising that he would be since you had just started dating and he didn't have that much time to get to know you and feel comfortable with you. He was probably feeling insecure that his penis wasn't long enough. His discomfort may be why he was so stiff in bed too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 9:21pm

Welcome to the board Michelle.

It sounds like you're way better off without this guy. It's not really important now to know why he was like this -- and you should understand that it had nothing to do with you. Try to leave it behind you as you move forward, instead of speculating about why he was this way. The combination that he had going on sounds like it is just a huge red flag or two.













my partner in the siggy exchange




iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 11:09am

"What do you think about all this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 11:59am

It sounds like he has a LOT of hang-ups.....and either not much experience, or some weird experiences in his background.


The fact that he masturbates daily MIGHT have some bearing on why he can't reach a climax with you......but most guys do masturbate a lot, and it doesn't affect their performance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 1:01pm

Thanks for all the replies!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 11:23pm

I have a couple of other thoughts for you, for future relationships.