Is he Gay????

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2007
Is he Gay????
13
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 4:01pm

Okay, here is the situation: My best friend has a serious problem with falling for the wrong guy. She has finally found "Mr. Right". He's so good to her, very loving, and has even talked to her about marriage. He seems almost too perfect for her. Here's the catch...he will not have sex with her. At first we thought it was because her ex-boyfriend (a total loser!) was known to have hepatitis. They talked about it and she went and got checked by her Dr. and was given the all clear. This was three months ago. Everytime I talk to her she says that she's sure they'll have sex by the next weekend. Well, every weekend comes and goes and still nothing. She has given him ample opportunity, but he will not take the bait. For instance, they came home from a dinner date and she said to him, "Let's sleep naked tonight.", his reply was, "Oh, Honey, you're so cute." and then he kissed her on the cheek and put on his pajamas. She stays at his house all the time, and he never wants to let her leave. I just don't understand it. Even his best friend questioned why they weren't having sex. This prompted a conversation about his ex-girlfriend being afraid to have sex and that they never did. He has not been with a woman in eight years. My parents seem to think that he is gay and either is not ready to come out, or doesn't know it yet. I am so concerned because she is my best friend and I would not want her to get hurt. She has already invested her heart and would be devastated if he were really gay, but I think it would be better for her to know if he is so that she could move on. She wants more than anything to have a family and kids, and I'm scared that things will continue and that they'll end up married and she'll end up hurt.

Help!!! Is he gay? What is the best way to bring this up with him?


 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: dfarley911
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 5:09pm

Instead of everyone assuming

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: dfarley911
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 5:35pm

Welcome to the board dfarley911.

As Tish said, it's really something that your friend should ask her boyfriend about. I'm sure that you want the best for her, but the best thing you could do is encourage her to talk with him about it.



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my partner in the siggy exchange






iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
In reply to: dfarley911
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 7:16pm

Now I know sex is important but I really think COMMUNICATION is key.


She needs to ask questions.

Paige-Editcopybrynn.png picture by marce_jewels

      

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
In reply to: dfarley911
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 9:41pm
It sounds like their relationship is still fairly new. My fiance and I waited a long time because I did not want to take any chances on getting pregnant until we were more financially stable. I know though that my fiance has also said that he would never have sex with anybody he was with for less than at least a year because it takes him that long to feel comfortable enough with somebody to sleep with them. Her boyfriend may feel the same way. He may be gay. He may have a very low sex drive. She needs to start opening up the lines of communication with him about the topic. It might not be something he is comfortable talking about but if she show him that she is not being judgmental then he will start opening more. It may a little bit of pushing on her part as well as some time before he reaches the point where he can feel comfortable enough to talk about it if it is a sensitive issue. Hopefully, she will hold off on marrying him at least until they reach the point in their relationship where they are both comfortable enough to talk openly about issues such as this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
In reply to: dfarley911
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 9:44pm
Misty, I love your pictures, where do you source them?
Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: dfarley911
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 9:52pm

Thank you. I have had some made for me by the creative folks on iVillage (there are some boards where you can get siggy's made). More recently, I have began making some of my own. I mostly find the pictures on photobucket and work with them from there.

I have a theme going, and I keep waiting to see if anyone mentions it. Care to take a guess?



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my partner in the siggy exchange






iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: dfarley911
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 10:24pm
You're always on the telephone... So, you like to talk...



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: dfarley911
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 10:26pm
He's the only one that can answer that question. She should try talking to him about it.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: dfarley911
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 10:27pm

Ah, I see you are a smart one! I thought by now someone would have asked me about it. I'm corny! You know, this is the Let's TALK about Sex board....

IRL, I hate to talk on the phone (LOL).



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my partner in the siggy exchange






iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: dfarley911
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 10:32pm
lol...No, I'm not smart..I'm observant.. I noticed that on your last one... No, you're not corny... I don't like talking on the phone either. I answer a phone all day...



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

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