Is he GAY??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Is he GAY??
36
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 9:10am

Ok, first of all, WARNING: this is probably going to be a little graphic.

Men, especially, I need YOUR opinion, PLEASE!!!

Ok, the other night when my bf and I were fooling around, we got to talking about threesomes. (just doing some dirty talk at first).

Well, he asked if I would ever be in to the whole two-girl thing, and I told him only if we get to do the two-guy thing.
Neither of us would actually do a threesome, but we just dirty talk each other sometimes about it.

Well, when we were talking about two-guys, he was saying he wouldn't want the other guy to have sex with me, etc. He then started mentioning something about me getting a strap-on dildo for HIM and that it can be very pleasurable for a man, but he has never done it. I guess he would want me to get a strap on and stick it in his a**?? (sorry, I told you it would be graphic)

Well, then, after he mentioned that, I asked him if he would do anything with the other guy if we had a two-guy threesome. He said he would probably let the other guy "suck him off" (blow job) because he didn't think it would be any different than a man doing it, and I was appaled, but didn't act it. I asked him then if he would have anal sex with the guy or if he would let the guy have anal sex to him? And he said YES PROBABLY!!!!

GROSS!

I asked him if he was serious, he said yes, and I asked if it would make him feel gay and he said, "no, it's pretty much the same thing". So he thinks its the same, and no big deal? He said he wouldn't kiss the guy, but still!

Should I be worried about this?? I would THINK it was just dirty talk, but then the next day, when nothing sexual was happening, I asked him if he really would do all that, and he said, "I probably would, if you wanted me to."

Guys, is he GAY??? I've always thought of him as a "manly man". And he seems VERY interested in women. Is he bi? If so, is there a way to find out for sure?? I am just very worried and freaked out by this now. Now, I don't have to worry about other WOMEN, but other MEN!!!!!

Please help.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: jkp72004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 9:36am

These are all questions that you need to be asking HIM, because only HE knows what he really thinks.

If it was just "dirty talk" as you said, then that's all it is. YOU were the one who brought up another man, not him. Maybe he's "bi curious", which doesn't make him gay, but again, only he knows if he really is interested.

Lots of men like "strap ons", and maybe he would too (and they're NOT gay!). If he finds out how much it hurts, that might change his mind real fast.

When he suggested that another woman might be fun, did you immediately think that you have to worry about other women? I doubt it, so why worry about other men because of a discussion?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
In reply to: jkp72004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 10:56am
How dare anyone assume that their SO is gay! I've often times told DH that I wanted to get a strap-on and essentially do him the way he does me from time to time. Does that make him gay? No, because at the end of the day he's begging to go "down town" and pleading for sex. Maybe he's just talking dirty. Maybe he's curious. He's right. Essentially, anal sex is the same. A penis is inserted in someone's anus for pleasure, regardless of gender. The only thing that makes it different is the fact that the person on the receiving end is equipped with a penis. Do you realize how many nerve endings are in the anus? And do you understand the magnitude of pleasure a man gets from prostate stimulation. I'd admire your BF if I were for being brave and venturing the unknown. That's really breaking the comfort zone and admirable that he'd go that far for you. Are you willing to do that for him?
If you're worried he's gay, why don't you just ask him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
In reply to: jkp72004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 11:50am
Jennie, GTB didn't suggested that the posters so was guy. She said that she needed to ask him, and maybe he was and maybe he wasn't. Re-read her post.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
In reply to: jkp72004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 11:59am
Why not ask him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: jkp72004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 12:33pm
I did ask him. He said no. But I don't think he would tell me if he WAS, at the risk of someone finding out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
In reply to: jkp72004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 2:36pm
I was addressing the OP through GTB's post. Perhaps I shouldn't have done that, but if my message was read clearly, you can see that I was addressing the OP.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
In reply to: jkp72004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 2:38pm
If he says no, then why don't you just believe him? I think its extraordinary that he'd go through such lengths to please you. It sounds like to me that he just wants to please you. You did, as GTB said, approach the subject of 2 guy-1 girl threesome after he asked for a 2 girl/1 guy threesome. Don't accuse the poor guy of something he's more than likely not guilty of.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: jkp72004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 2:47pm

If he says he's not gay or bi, then


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
In reply to: jkp72004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 4:55pm
I first I thought you weren't and then I thought you were and then I didn't know. I thought it was a little out of character from your normal posts.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2005
In reply to: jkp72004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 8:09pm
Im not trying to offend anyone BUT I personally feel your guy may be gay or have gay tendencies.If he isn't gay then he's bi or seriously thinking about it.I feel that any man who participates or agrees to participate in any sexual act with the same sex is gay.Men on the "DL" or coming out now more than ever and I believe that your man may have those tendencies.Obviously it seems that you are uncomfortable with his responses to your questions and his "might be gay" persona.I guess if your okay with it then there is nothing to be worried about but if it bothers you then take that into consideration!......Sorry if I offended anyone......Good Luck!!!

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