Is he GAY??
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 05-10-2005 - 9:10am |
Ok, first of all, WARNING: this is probably going to be a little graphic.
Men, especially, I need YOUR opinion, PLEASE!!!
Ok, the other night when my bf and I were fooling around, we got to talking about threesomes. (just doing some dirty talk at first).
Well, he asked if I would ever be in to the whole two-girl thing, and I told him only if we get to do the two-guy thing.
Neither of us would actually do a threesome, but we just dirty talk each other sometimes about it.
Well, when we were talking about two-guys, he was saying he wouldn't want the other guy to have sex with me, etc. He then started mentioning something about me getting a strap-on dildo for HIM and that it can be very pleasurable for a man, but he has never done it. I guess he would want me to get a strap on and stick it in his a**?? (sorry, I told you it would be graphic)
Well, then, after he mentioned that, I asked him if he would do anything with the other guy if we had a two-guy threesome. He said he would probably let the other guy "suck him off" (blow job) because he didn't think it would be any different than a man doing it, and I was appaled, but didn't act it. I asked him then if he would have anal sex with the guy or if he would let the guy have anal sex to him? And he said YES PROBABLY!!!!
GROSS!
I asked him if he was serious, he said yes, and I asked if it would make him feel gay and he said, "no, it's pretty much the same thing". So he thinks its the same, and no big deal? He said he wouldn't kiss the guy, but still!
Should I be worried about this?? I would THINK it was just dirty talk, but then the next day, when nothing sexual was happening, I asked him if he really would do all that, and he said, "I probably would, if you wanted me to."
Guys, is he GAY??? I've always thought of him as a "manly man". And he seems VERY interested in women. Is he bi? If so, is there a way to find out for sure?? I am just very worried and freaked out by this now. Now, I don't have to worry about other WOMEN, but other MEN!!!!!
Please help.

Pages
And included in that vast realm of possibilities, and THEORIES, I might add, is the one where a person has no bisexual tendencies at all.
And btw, you're also assuming that most of the population believes in the results of these studies. Whenever one is in an unnatural position, that is disclosing very personal and intimate thoughts and feelings, to strangers no less, it can change the results of a study based on perceived expectations by the participants. Psychology is not an exact science.
My DH and I have discussed this subject many many times over the years and neither of us had nor desired any same sex experiences. And we certainly have no reason not to be honest with one another after 29 yrs. together! I have acknowledged that others feel differently.
But I simply won't be bullied into admitting to something that I don't feel just because someone proclaims it to be so. Sorry.
Edited 5/11/2005 4:38 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
Well, ok, this is really gross, but I'm the OP and I just had to add something. When we were talking about him having sex with another man, or another man sticking it in his ass, or another man giving him a blow job, he got very "wet".
What I mean by this, is he started releasing "pre-cum".....which he normally doesn't do (at least not very much) when I am giving him a hand job or something, unless he is really turned on.
So, obviously, this situation and talking about it made him very turned on.
Also, when using his computer to check my email last night, when I clicked on the drop down arrow to go to yahoo, I saw that he had visited some sexual sites such as analsexyes.com, etc. He had visited sites about harnesses, strap-ons, and MMF stories.
Think he's gay now??
No I don't think he's gay. I wouldn't think anyone's gay unless they were 100% attracted to men and ONLY men.
So he's BI, or BI-Curious. If he loves you the same as he always, does this fact change your love or desire for him?
I was with my wife for 4 years before i confessed to my Bi'ness, and it didn't surprise her at all and we've only been closer because of it.
I don't. Kinky? Experimental? Yes, definitely.
I think you need to believe what he tells you until you have reason not to. People can get turned on by lots of ideas that they would NEVER want to happen in real life. Rape fantasies come to mind.
Who's trying to"bully" you into believing something? Believe the earth is flat and you'll get no guff from me.
Have a nice day.
--
martinisnsushi - living the good life since 1963
CL Redbook "Get Inside His Head"
--
martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!
Maybe he is just curious to *seeing* what it's like and maybe he is considering anal play/penetration on him by you.
Edited 5/11/2005 6:02 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
I'd like to see some of those studies...
Here's a 5 minute Google. Most of these contain links or references to primary cites:
http://psychology.about.com/b/a/011134.htm
http://psychcentral.com/psypsych/Homosexuality
http://encyclopedia.laborlawtalk.com/Homosexuality
http://www.superdrewby.com/column/sexuality.shtml
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2372/is_3_39/ai_94130313
http://www.kalimunro.com/article_lesbians_and_men.html
--
martinisnsushi - living the good life since 1963
CL Redbook "Get Inside His Head"
--
martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!
I'm sure that there is plenty of info that could show your theory, but for me personally, and those I know closely it's not true. Therefore, I don't agree. I don't believe that I'm an anomaly...really.
First and foremost, you said you wanted to see the studies, so I was simply responding to your request.
Secondarily, its not "my theory", but is rather an accepted
--
martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!
Pages