He hasen't kissed me
Find a Conversation
He hasen't kissed me
| Mon, 04-24-2006 - 4:14pm |
I have been talking to this guy for a few months now almost 5 months actually. And we've had sex quite a few times and we hang out everyday almost. Mon-Friday. But we've never kissed. When we first hooked up and he wanted to have sex, I told him he was crazy, trying to have sex with me when we haven't even kissed yet and that's first base. He laughed but still he never kissed me, he offered but I told him you can't just force a kiss to have sex. Friday night we were having sex and he came really close to my face and said something to me and all I wanted to do was kiss him. So I grabbed him and tried to kiss him but he pulled back. I was so close I started to and he rejected me completely. I think it is totally weird, that we've never kissed yet. And today at lunch, he was telling me that he had a sore on his mouth and he showed it to me. It looked painful.He said it wasen't a canker sore and he gets it all the time and he has medicine at home for it. I asked him what it was and he said he doesn't know the name in english. And I don't speak Spanish, this he knows very well. I am kinda glad that we never really kissed kissed, but, for a long time I was thinking that he didn't want to, because of me, but now I think it was because of this. What could it be?

But you know, it is weird that he hasn't kissed you yet... cold sores usually don't last 5 months!!!
you need to talk to him about this... it's bizaar!
yes, he most likely has oral herpes. the majority of people have it although not all who have it have outbreaks. it is very contagious, that is why so many people have it. most people get it when they are kissed by adults as kids and by the time they grow up they generally have few or no symptoms.
have you tried to talk to him about why he won't kiss you?
Maybe he's got the idea into his head that any kissing at any time risks spreading the herpes? He may not have very good information and knowledge about herpes at all.
BTW, a canker sore is different from a herpes sore. That's why we've suggested that it might be herpes if its not a canker sore.
>>Maybe he's got the idea into his head that any kissing at any time risks spreading the herpes? He may not have very good information and knowledge about herpes at all.<<
If that is his understanding he is correct. Although more contagious during an outbreak, herpes can also be spread when there is no outbreak. Old medical literature used to say that it was only contagious during outbreaks, more current literature states that it is less likely and still possible to spread it when the person does not have an outbreak.
To the original poster, even if you do not have outbreaks you may have it in your system already. You may want to consider getting a bloodtest to determine whether you have it or not. Again, it is very common for people to have oral herpes...if I recall correctly the numbers were 70-80% of the population.
>>If that is his understanding he is correct. Although more contagious during an outbreak, herpes can also be spread when there is no outbreak.<<
Now you're just splitting hairs! ;-)
IIRC, it can be shed and transmitted only during an "outbreak". The trouble is the definition of an outbreak has changed slightly because it's been discovered that a person can have an "outbreak" and not be aware of it - unlike the clearly obvious cold sore and tingling outbreak type.
Anyway, the upshot of all that is that he may be very hesistant to kiss anyone in his situation because of the risk of spreading it.
Uh, did he by any chance perform oral sex on you, during the time he refused to "kiss" you? You can get genital herpes(HSV-1 or HSV-2) from oral transmission. Here's some simple reading material....
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000857.htm
I just wanted to add, that although THIS may be a valid reason, it may also be an excuse. Many men and women who are in a friends-with-benefit situation or who are bed-buddies, do not kiss, period. For some people, kissing is more intimate than intercourse and they only do it with those they have feelings for. I'm not clear on what exactly your "relationship" is with this man, but in any event, I would suggest that you NOT delay discussing his "condition." Your health should be your #1 priority!!!
And we are kind of dating I guess. In the beganing of the relationship, I stated then that we shouldn't put any labels on our relationship and just let it go the way it comes.If we were to label it though, I think our relationship has already past the just friends with benifits thing. I once mentioned that to him and he said we've been more than that for a long time. And he wants me to move into his house with him. We always have sex with a condom though except for once( I know, I know I broke the rule, it was morning and I was half asleep...)I plan on getting checked out ASAP, but I don't have any insurance and most the doctors here in Miami are so booked that some of the doctors are trying to schedule me in June and stuff.I was just in need of some immediate advice and opinions. Thank you everyone.Would it help to say he's only 19 years old? Could that also shed some insight? I don't know...I just think that he should have already kissed me by now.Are some guys just like that?