he REFUSES to EVER give oral

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2008
he REFUSES to EVER give oral
11
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 11:21am

I met this guy, "G" a month ago and we have been flirting off & on (I have written about him before) and have made out, etc.

We talked last week about sex and oral sex came up because his cousin had mentioned that he doesn't let his gf give him oral sex because he feels 'guilty'. I asked if he give sit back to her and he said NO, I NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WILL.

then my guy pipes up and agrees! and says he never has and never will either. They are both 27 friggin years old. I was so appalled and turned off! His cousin asked if that was normal for me where I come from (US as opposed to Italy where we are) and I said hell yes!

Today I talked to "G" and of course sex came up and I told him I didn't feel like we matched up sexually. He knew why and said that giving oral to a man is ok because it's "normal".

Let me tell you he is origanlly from Jordan btw where women are not exactly seen as the same as men. I actually think he is afraid of being horrible at it and that's his main focus.

Anyway it's not that I demand oral but a man has to want to or offer to do it ESPECIALLY if he expects it. I just get the feeling that if I sleep with him it will unsatisfying and he will only be interested in getting himself off.

Would you sleep with a guy who says no to oral...when you love it? and would you give him oral when he says no to you? Men, how do you feel about giving oral? Would you be turned off by a girl who told you you were likely a bad lover without giving it? haha

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 11:28am
I'm a guy who loves giving oral. No oral... either giving or receiving... would be a deal breaker for me in a potential sexual partner.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 12:17pm

Welcome to the board, Elle.

There are both men and women who refuse to give oral, some who are also uncomfortable receiving oral. Personally, I don't think I'd be satisfied in a relationship with someone who said they have never and would never do it. I think it's important to at least be willing to try things that your partner has an interest in (so long as it's safe and legal).

You're the only person who can decide if this is a deal breaker for you. If he tried it, and didn't like it, would it still make you feel the same?





iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2008
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 12:23pm
well I guess it still would be an issue! it's not like i wake up in the morning and go " i'd love to suck a dick today. it tastes like candy! " but i do it because seeing my man happy makes me happy. the fact that he cant say the same, bothers me. also the fact that he just WONT try, is a damper, too. but what REALLY gets me is that he WANTS it but will not give it, like im a sexual object for him to play with and discard. basically i've decided that i won't sleep with him/give him oral ; i love good sex too much to disappoint myself!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2007
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 12:28pm
All I can say is that he don't know what he's missing!!
"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us."
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 12:38pm

Is this another one of your vendors?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 1:16pm

Oral isn't the most important thing to me anyway but I would have a hard time with a totalitarian in or out of the bedroom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 2:09pm

No oral, giving and receiving along

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 9:12pm




iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2008
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 12:01am
I was interested in a gal who thought oral sex shouldn't be done. What can I say. For some people, they can live with that. I cannot. To be fair, she wasn't a perfect match, but I think even if she was, I'd still lose interest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 2:37pm
Sexual compatibility is very important - if it is not there then there will always be resentment on someone's part or a disconnect in emotional intimacy.

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