HE is shy or inexperienced - need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2005
HE is shy or inexperienced - need advice
3
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 10:53pm
Hello...This question is for male or female response,
My boyfriend of 8 months is shy or inexperienced. (He does have more courage when he has been drinking.) He should be very confident with his manly size but I know that doesn't mean anything. We have talked about past experience and his experience has been with women who avoid sex at all costs. I have let him know in many ways how much I love and enjoy him and his body. I even wrote him a sexy letter...his response was we will talk about it on the weekend but that never happened. How do I get him to share what he desires? I have tried to ask him but he puts it off to another time.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts or ideas!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 12:27am
How about when the weekend comes, you start talking about what YOU want, and what YOU want to try. Who says a woman can't be agressive in bed? Particularly if the man won't be! Maybe he needs a push to be able to open up.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 12:54am

Well, you've spelled out your desires in a letter and he's obviously not ready to become sexually active with you. "Why" is a question that you'll need to ask him! Could be any number of reasons. But 8 mos. is a long time to continue to be shy with a GF!




Edited 5/17/2005 1:06 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 1:33am

My bf was a little bit shy like that when we first started becoming sexually intimate. It's hard in the beginning, I understand! I was really frustrated at times because I asked questions, I didn't ask questions, I implied things, I avoided things...I tried everything he just wasn't comfortable yet. That's normal though. He WILL open up but if he's not opening up yet it might not be the best thing to be sexually intimate with him yet and I only say that because it shouldn't take sex for a man to be comfortable. If you find him attractive and he knows that and he puts off discussing anything sexual he's not "there" the way you are. You're obviously ready to be sexual with him and talk about intimate things and he's not. It may push him to open up as time goes on but he should get there at his own pace.

So....take it slow. Try to get him to talk about your letter and other things of that nature and if he doesn't, you should wait patiently and respectfully until he does.

Good luck!!!!!!

Ta ta for now :o)