he wants me to take charge...how?
Find a Conversation
he wants me to take charge...how?
| Sat, 09-24-2005 - 2:02pm |
He wants me to "be aggressive" and to "take charge" in the bedroom. It's not in my character, but I think it would be fun to surprise him with it sometimes. My question is...how? I don't really know what he means by it and I know from experience that it's not as fun when you have to come strait out and give a roadmap to what you want. All I can envision is meeting him at the door and then closing it and pushing him against it while kissing him, but then what? Do I say something demanding and if so, what? Undress him? Any suggestions or specifics?

Well Your Idea was a great start... and often times once you take the first step the next step comes naturally and easily to you as you go along.
If its something you arent used to , work your way up. Start by *telling* him what to do. Like "Do it harder" or faster or whatever you are wanting at that moment. Those little bits of assertiveness will likely turn him on and make it easier for you to take control when you are ready. And when you tell him what to do, Dont say please huni, Say it forcefully. "I want you to Do This NOW" type of thing.
Its not much, But its a start, and Like I said... often times once you start being assertive and taking control during sex it will start to come easily, and You may really enjoy the feeling not to mention the little bit of dirty talk. I'm sure your BF will, If He has expressed interest I'd say he'll respond really well to whatever approach you choose.
GL and have some fun with it!
btw: If this is something you dont want to do or makes you uncomfortable you should feel free to tell your BF that you arent comfortable being the aggressor yet. Maybe sometime in the future you will be.
Girl I am just like you, but the other night I surprized my husband. He came home to me dressed all sexy and the house littered with candles and jazz playing in the backround and the blankey and pillows out on the living room floor. When he walked in the door i pushed him on the couch and started kissin him. I did not let him touch me. After kissing him for awhile, I started to go down on him. All night I was in charge, it was fun and made me feel better knowing he really enjoyed it. Just do something like that and get his attention...
Good Luck and have fun with it
Randi
Starting with WOT is the first thing I thought of. As you role-play anything out, remember how things happen in your head may not be how they unfold in real-life, but don't get discouraged. Meeting him at the door sounds like a great start. While kissing, begin to strip him (slowly though), while whispering "what do you want?", but leave some clothing on (socks & boxers look adorable), because it is totally all about the tease.
I have tried twice without total success not to have him touch me while I'm all over him. The first time I just verbally said "no touchy", but silly me, that didn't work. Second time, I became more physical by holding his hands at his side, as I went down, but then my hands wanted to touch too so it was all over.
Think about what you would like to him to do to you if he was "more aggressive and in control" then do those same moves on him. Enjoy!!!
He may not mean that he wants you to meet him at the door or set an elaborate scene. He may just be happy with you initiating sex sometimes, or during sex taking charge and telling him or doing what you want next. For example, if you want to switch positions and go on top, tell him, help roll him over, and climb on top without waiting for him to get himself completely organised. Another example, rather than waiting for him to indicate that he wants a BJ, you unzip him, undress him and do it without being asked. If you want him to give you oral sex, how about reaching down and touching yourself as you ask him to go down on you? Or rather than lying in bed and letting him reach over and touch you first, how about you reach over and start touching him first?
And that's probably the crux of the matter, he wants you do start some things first "without being asked". That covers the full range of sexual activity - everything from kissing him on the sofa, to feeling him up when you're feeling like sex, to changing positions and initiating sex acts that you want in the bedroom. If you think about it, he may feel that he guides you every step of the way - from initiating sex by slipping a hand up your shirt to telling you what he wants to do next and positioning you in the bedroom. He probably just wants you to do what he's doing every so often.