He won't cum inside of me ....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
He won't cum inside of me ....
17
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 3:59pm
Hello everyone ...

I've been dating this guy for 7 months now. I really enjoy our sex and really have no complaints, except ... one. I feel connected to him and we've had some very passionate sex recently and I've asked him to cum inside of me. (We don't use condoms but I am on the pill ... please no lectures on that point, I've heard it all!!) I've asked him a couple of times now and he's said no each time. He seems to think by doing that I have more of a chance of getting pregnant. I've told him it doesn't matter if he cums inside of me or not, the chances are still the same since we're not using protection.

Basically, I know I can't expect anyone who answers this post to have an answer to "magically" make him change his mind, but any suggestions? Its not the biggest deal to me but I feel like since I'm being so intimate with him that I'd like to "finish" the act so to speak. Anyways, let me know what you think!! Thanks!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 4:31pm
But you ARE increasing your chances at getting pregnant by him finishing inside you. Of course we all know that pre-ejaculate still contains sperm but by him ejaculting inside you, it makes the chances/sperm count that much higher. Just thought I'd like to let you know!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 4:40pm
I'm not sure what the percentage chance of getting pregnant while on the pill is, but I took the pill for years and never got pregnant while on it. I, too, had a boyfriend like that. I was on the pill, but he was so determined to play it safe (as far as pregnancy) that he wouldn't climax inside me! Drove me nuts and I broke up with him after 5 months due to that (and some other issues). He would climax all over my stomach or my back or my breasts thinking that it was just all okay. It wasn't.

You definitely deserve to be "finished" off as you desire. You're putting your body out there for him and pleasing him, he needs to please you too. If he won't, then you will always be frustrated and aggravated with the situation. I know I was, so I got out of it.




iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 4:45pm
Sorry I don't have an answer for you that will help jackpot. Right now I'd have to say there's simply NO chance of changing his mind.

This sounds like a man who is VERY concerned about AND the that comes along with the very risks you are trying to convince him to take. NOW...if its true that we men can be really stubborn, LOL, especially those of us who are hooked on this thought process, then you my dear are simply NOT gonna have any chance at changing his mind.

This one I really wouldn't push on him, jackpot. He really feels he's making the right choice and is obviously very afraid of the risk factor. YOU feel confident that there is not enough of a risk to worry about, but he feels the same way as probably 99% of the rest of the world about it, so I wouldn't pressure him too hard on it.

So long as he knows you want more intimacy with him, then I think that alone should really count for something. He knows how special you view him in your relationship because of that, but until you two are ready and willing to accept the of that very risky move you're pushing for, I wouldn't bother him about it anymore.

Just my two cents. Sorry I couldn't help ya there. :)

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 4:46pm
But she's on birth control pills. How much more do you have to do to be safe without wearing a rubber also? Don't BC pills work like they use to anymore?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 4:54pm
But there is not a 100% guarantee that she will not get pregnant. If they have a 99% effectiveness, the 100th time they have sex isn't going to be when she gets pregnant. It could be the first, it could be the fifteenth. If he doesn't want to risk it, she shouldn't push him. Plus, how many times have you heard of women getting pregnant while on the pill. All the time. So many facotrs affect the effectiveness, why would anyone rather be sorry than safe if they really do not want to have a child yet?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 4:59pm
I've never had any or my friends or family member get pregnant while on BC pills. Not anyone. I've heard stories about other girls, but they probably were missing days and not taking them!

For me, if I had a boyfriend who insisted on always climaxing outside of me, that would be a deal breaker.

Edited to add: Besides, what do other couples do? They rely on BC pills (the most reliable method) or other precautions. Guys who won't climax in you have other issues or bigger issues about pregnancy and trusting women to take the pills, if you ask me. Which no one did, lol - JMHO.


Edited 8/3/2004 5:02 pm ET ET by tiana_rose

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 5:34pm
If you take the pill correctly here is less then a 1% percent chance of getting pregnant. Maybe you could try getting him to cum while you are on top, maybe it would make it more difficult for him to pull out. I don't know just a thought. Maybe you could also try to start swirling your hips in a circle when he is about to cum by bf loves it and i know it would never pull out while I was doing that. Hope this helps and good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 5:41pm
I have been through extensive periods where I just didn't want to cum inside my g/f, for no particular reason. Just subconscious or something, I have no clue. When I felt I was about to blow, I would just pull out, jerk off all over her lingerie, stroke it for a few seconds while the last few drips oozed out, and then put it back inside her for the "warmdown." There was no problem one way or the other and it didn't make her the least bit mad or sad; everyone was lovey-dovey at all times ;-) I don't have any clue why I liked to do this. It just happens. After a couple of months she did have sperm stains on some of her sleep clothes but it was hardly the end of the world. Had nothing to do with being worried about her getting pregnant. All this is to say, I really wouldn't worry about it, the mind works in mysterious ways.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 5:43pm
That's correct! BC pills are 99% certain IF you take them as prescribed! If not, then who knows how safe you are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 7:19pm

I don't think there is a magical answer to change his mind.


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