He won't cum inside of me ....
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| Tue, 08-03-2004 - 3:59pm |
I've been dating this guy for 7 months now. I really enjoy our sex and really have no complaints, except ... one. I feel connected to him and we've had some very passionate sex recently and I've asked him to cum inside of me. (We don't use condoms but I am on the pill ... please no lectures on that point, I've heard it all!!) I've asked him a couple of times now and he's said no each time. He seems to think by doing that I have more of a chance of getting pregnant. I've told him it doesn't matter if he cums inside of me or not, the chances are still the same since we're not using protection.
Basically, I know I can't expect anyone who answers this post to have an answer to "magically" make him change his mind, but any suggestions? Its not the biggest deal to me but I feel like since I'm being so intimate with him that I'd like to "finish" the act so to speak. Anyways, let me know what you think!! Thanks!!

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Don't you
He needs to understand how the "pill" works. IF you take it every day, at approximately the same time, and never skip a pill, the hormones in the pill prevent ovulation. If you don't ovulate, you CAN'T get pregnant! (the 1% failure rate is usually due to human error, NOT failure of the pill to do it's job!)
Also, does he understand about pre-ejaculate? From the moment he's erect, he's "oozing" it, and it contains hundreds and hundreds of sperm per drop....so he IS depositing sperm inside you.
If those two bits of information don't satisfy him, then he's got some OTHER hang up about it.
I've explained to him that even his "pre-cum" is just as potent as his full orgasim, but at that time, he said he wouldn't. I haven't brought it up again, its just odd to me. For me, I want to have the whole experience, and feel closer to him. I guess I feel this way since we've been dating for quite awhile now and I figured we'd be over this point in the road.
All I can think of is he must have other issues about it...I'm not going to press him about it, just confused I guess ... maybe start looking for other candiates - LOL - just kidding!!!!
Glad to know you're able to discuss it with him, many couples don't even make it THAT far, LOL, so you're on a great path there in my opinion.
Theres nothing wrong at all for wanting to feel closer with him, sounds like a nice guy too. Just so you know, I have two younger brothers who were told AND educated just like your guy was, but they are now both fathers and not even dating those girlfriends anymore. :(
This obviously isn't your case, but if your bf feels better about being cautious in a way that makes him comfortable, then I still believe in all honesty that you're doing the right thing by not pushing him on it. Many of us posters do not believe in pushing partners to do what they simply don't feel like doing, so I'm sure you've got more pats on the back. He does sound committed to you, so hopefully you'll get that extra intimacy as your relationship grows that much closer, when he IS ready to accept the consequence of whatever risk he chooses to be cautious about.
Regardless of his level of education about birth control, its nice to see that there ARE young men out there who are at least showing signs of being careful after all, LOL, even if its considered by some to be 'over'cautious. ;)
Hey, try to bring him online with ya if you two have other inquiries too, k?
:)
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Mr. Para
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