He won't do it!! :'(

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
He won't do it!! :'(
16
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 4:08pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half. I am four years younger than him and I want to have as much fun as I can while I'm young, but he doesn't see it that way. He has his mind set on buying a golf course that he has NO money to pay for it (and doesnt even play golf) and would rather talk about that than sex with me or almost anything else for that matter. We both still live with our parents because we are in college(I'm just starting and he is almost done) and we don't have the money to live together or get married. We have sex whenever he wants to because I love it and am always willing (but unfortunatly for me he's not). Also unfortunatly for me I've never had an orgasm with him or without him. I have asked him many times to give me oral because maybe that will give me an orgasm and have even sent him things to read that I found online about it but he never reads them. He says I'm 'pressuring' him to do something that he doesn't want to do because it's gross to him. I love giving him blowjobs and for some reason I still do even though he wont reciprocate the favor. He says he doesnt have a fantasy and doesnt want to or care what mine is. I asked him today if he wanted to come over after work and get a shower with me (he works outside at a golfcourse and my parents are out of town) and he said no almost instantly. I dont understand why he wont do these things! I love him to death but this is really frusturating for me. Is there a way to get him to try giving me oral without 'pressuring' him too much?


Edited 8/2/2007 9:15 am ET by justinsbaby122

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Thu, 08-02-2007 - 12:15pm

he does sound like the definition of someone with LL (lower libido). Is this something you can live with being as young as you are? I was married to a man that refused to perform oral sex on me and very seldom brought me to orgasm (maybe 3 times) in 14 years. After 14 years of that, even though he was a great guy otherwise, the strain on our marriage became so great I divorced him.

Go over and check out the Mismatched Libido board. Believe me when I say .. you don't want to make the same mistake I did and waste years and years on a man you will eventually leave.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 8:45am
Welcome to the board suthu. Thanks for joining in.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 5:23pm

wanna know the best part? i'd had a strange feeling in my gut about him saying he was still a virgin after dating a girl for three years. i talked to her yesterday and she told me everything including that they had sex for the last year of their relationship. I asked him for the millionth time yesterday and he still denies it. i really dont care about the sex with her, just that he lied to me about it. He has never changed his story about her, always told me the truth about everything else but this is a really big thing to not tell the truth about. I dont know what to do because I want to believe him but there is no reason why his ex would lie to me. Its not like she has anything to gain from it.. idk what to do.

foreverthismisery - no he hasnt ever tried on me or his ex. he just thinks the idea of it is gross. honestly i cant think of anything off the top of my head that i dont like doing for him. there prolly is something but idk and havent been able to think of anything lately.

itsscott - he's never even played golf! every time i suggest we go play he says he's too tired or that he has to get up early the next morning for work which he does every other day.. so if its not one excuse its the other. he doesnt like going places, or spending money for that matter.. he wants to save all the money he has for his golf course.

cl-misty_mae - thanks! we talk a little, but i always ask for the same things and it gets annoying to him so he shuts down and doesnt want to hear a word about it.




Edited 8/3/2007 5:24 pm ET by justinsbaby122
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 11:42pm

You need to figure out what you want and live your life so you are more likely to get what you want.

If you want your life to change you have to change.

There are other fish in the sea. Find another dance partner. Kiss several toads. The smart ones may be at school. The best time in your life to meet people that are your age and are close to you in their abilties, skills and everything is during school.

PLAY SAFE!!!!

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 1:22pm
baby you suffer from PID (p*s**indistress) and i feel so sorry for you. fact is your man is insecure sexually. i think he is being SELFISH when it comes to pleasuring and it's not fair. so rule 1 STOP GIVING HIM ORAL. that will open his eyes. i read that you keep asking and asking and asking and asking him to do you right and he's not. well, no more asking... demand! Demand that if he doesn't like you want the he'll be sexually bankrupt until he does. because you deserve to feel good, and if he aint doing it, then he need to tell you why. plus guys realize things when you take away their precious sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 3:26pm

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If the moderators remove your post for such a violation, they will send a warning letter stating why the post was removed. Having posts removed does subject your account to being closed on the village.

Personally, I find that a lot gets lost in a thread when posts are deleted for violations. As a courtesy to all members, it is helpful to make sure your post is within the guidelines.



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