Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Help!
3
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 1:17pm
Just over the last two years my husband has had a problem with premature ejaculation. Literally what used to take at least a half hour or more is now only about about five minutes. Certainly not long enough for me to get any pleasure. It's getting to where I'd rather use my toy than be with my own husband because it's just not fun anymore. We have been married for 8 years so this a new problem for us. Any ideas on where we can go for help?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: credmon
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 4:40pm

Five minutes? Most women would be happy with that....and that's certainly not PE. As for your pleasure, what about foreplay? Unless you're one of the 20% of women who have orgasms from intercourse alone, plenty of foreplay, and some clitoral stimulation during intercourse does it for most of us.

He can also teach himself to last longer, by using the "stop-start" method..

Instead of turning to a toy and ignoring your husband, work on fixing the situation so that you can both enjoy what you're doing.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: credmon
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 5:02pm

If you're able to orgasm at least once during foreplay, through oral or manual stimulation, then 5 minutes of thrusting wouldn't be such an issue, would it? And what's wrong with allowing HIM to finish you with the vibrator if he can't last long enough? Is there a rule about HOW and when you finish?

But rather than get angry and resentful for something he might not be able to control right now, which will only cause more problems, try working with him and expand both your horizons.

I seriously doubt that he's purposefully trying to finish quickly though. He might be under more stress at work, experiencing side effects from medications or any number of reasons which are affecting his ability to last longer. Work together to make sure that you BOTH are satisfied at the end of the evening.

There's more than one way to skin a cat, though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: credmon
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 6:46pm
Five minutes is a respectable time so my thoughts would be that it's not an issue of lack of control or "premature ejeculation" as such. I'm inclined to think that the two of you have gotten into a routine and he's more interested in getting the job over and done with. You say that it's not fun anymore, so you can pretty well bet good money that he doesn't think it's fun anymore either. If there's no fun, he's got no motivation to extend the intercourse and delay his ejeculation.
Sounds like you need to spice it up in the bedroom and bring back the passion and the desire to extend the session. Start talking to him and see if the two of you can't come up with some ideas to get both of you interested again.