HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2007
HELP!
1
Sat, 10-27-2007 - 5:53pm

Ok, this is weird typing it but..

Me and my guy have been together for about a year now and the sex is good...
yet he doesn't last long.
Actually hardly at all recently.

I'm not complaining and i love him to bits. I just don't have the heart to say i'm not satisfied!
I suppose it's a complimant he can't last long...hmm..

How can i get him to last longer...or at least get us both satisfied by the end of it?
He got upset the other day and he was relucant to tell me.. he said he was embaressed that he can't last long. I don't want to hurt him and say i get excited...then get dissapointed!

eugh...someone help! i'm so stuck!
xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: idancelikethis
Sat, 10-27-2007 - 8:11pm

Welcome to the board, idancelikethis.

There are a couple of things the two of you can try.

Most women do not orgasm during intercourse, so it's fairly common to be sure the female partiner is satisfied prior to intercourse. It's not to say that you can't or won't also have an orgasm during intercourse, but that can be a bonus for you. Try spending more time on foreplay (oral and manual stimulation) to help you achieve your orgasm and then switch to intercourse primarily for his benefit. There is also no rule that you can't continue to be satisfied after intercourse. Many women are multi-orgasmic, and enjoy having orgasms before, during and after intercourse.

Another thing is something he can practice alone and when he's with you. He can actually train himself to last longer. During masturbation, he can use a start-stop method where he will stop masturbation when he feels himself getting near orgasm. Once that feeling has subsided, he will start again, repeating the process for longer periods of time as he continues to practice. The start-stop method can also be practiced when the two of you are together, as can changing positions. Similar to the start-stop method, when he feels himself nearing orgasm, he will change the intercourse position. This will break the rhythm that he has established, and create different sensations from a new position.

There are also positions that the two of you can try which can help him last longer. Woman on top (WOT) is a good one to try because often women can orgasm more quickly in this position, yet men sometimes can not orgasm in this position. Even if he can orgasm during this position, it will likely take him longer to get there.

Here are some resources that you can read over. If you want to talk with your BF about what's going on, and the various things you can try, you might want to have some of this information handy too.

Positions To Help You Last Longer (guys)
http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip_60/66_love_tip.html

Sex: Coping with Husband's Premature Ejaculation
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/sxcommunicate/0,,6gtv,00.html

"My guy suffers from premature ejaculation" (Please, Squeeze, At Ease)
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/sexexpert/qas/0,,696792_705900,00.html
Written by Ian Kerner who has overcome this himself.

Topical Spray May Treat Premature Ejaculation
http://health.ivillage.com/familycare/familycarenews/0,,wbnews_b6kgfrnk,00.html

Keep us posted on how things are going.



Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket









my partner in the siggy exchange