Help, advice needed.
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 04-23-2007 - 10:52am |
Let me start my saying, I am not sure if this is the correct place to put this question, but I have to start somewhere.
I have a question about my SIL. (wife's sister). We have always be able to get along. Not a perfect in law situation but we don't hate each other either. We have always been civil to each other. About 6 months ago, I noticed her looking my way a lot at Thanksgiving. I did not think much of it, because there are usually 25-30 people at holidays and birthdays. There is just a lot of activity. Same thing happened at Christmas, this time she came over to me and we talked for about and hour. Just different things alot of small talk. It just seemed a little our of character for her. She has been calling more to talk to her sister, when she knows my wife is at work. we talk 10 minutes or so, and topics are becoming more personal. She has told me her husband drives her nuts. We were over to her house recently and the strangest thing happened. I was sitting on the couch, my wife was in the kitchen, brother in law was outside and sister in law was on the floor. She was laying with her legs toward me on her side. I told her, (quietly) "hey you are not leaving much to the imagination" I could see her underwear. she rolled over and pulled her shorts down so i could see her underwear no problem. They were down for about 3 seconds, and smiled, and went back to what she was doing.
Sorry for the lengthy post, but I am just curious. Is this a situation where I am possibly misreading signals thinking someone wants me to boost my self esteem. Or is it possible, my sister in law is thinking of me as more then a brother in law?
Thanks in advance.

Welcome to the board lonlehube.
It sounds to me like the two of you might be flirting a bit, more than innocently. Albeit, you are probably flirting with disaster. If she is exposing herself to you, and you don't want to be in a flirtatious relationship with her, then you should not respond to her "advances".
Oh, yes, she's REALLY trying to boost your self esteem! Come on, you're a grown man, and unless you're into Greek Tragedies, you need to stop her in her tracks. Whatever her problem is with her husband is HER problem, and she needs to solve it.
Great sister, coming on to you like that. The woman either has a few screws loose, or she's playing some kind of game.
You need to stop the contact with her, but first tell her that you're happily married (assuming that you are) and you're sorry she's not, but she's to STOP calling you, and stop the nonsense. When you're at a family gathering, stay away from her, for sure don't let her get you alone anywhere. Suggest that if she needs someone to talk to about her problems she try professional counselling.
Depending on what kind of relationship she and your wife have.....there could be many reasons for what she's doing, none of them good. Maybe she envies your happy marriage, and she's trying to make trouble for you. Maybe she's a cheating wife, and you're the new target for her. Maybe she thinks if she has an affair with you, she'll make her husband jealous. Whatever it is, steer clear of her...or you're going to wind up in a world of hurt. If necessary, tell your wife what's been going on. Not nice to make trouble between sisters, but she doesn't seem to have any boundaries, and for all you know SHE will say something to your wife.....like tell her that you've been making advances to her.
You're really between a rock and a hard place, and you need to start by telling her to back off.