Help with Anal Sexxx..Please!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Help with Anal Sexxx..Please!!!
3
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 5:21pm
Ok, my husband really really wants to have anal sex with me. He's been "craving" it for some time now. We have done it in the past. I can only recall 1 time that it actually felt good and I was drunk lol. All the other times it hurt and I made him stop. I've read about anal sex and how it's not supposed to hurt. I dont know what we are doing wrong. We use alot of lube, and he almost always fingers it before-hand to get it ready, and it still hurts. Im not sure if it's because Im scared so it tightens back up as soon as he's entering, or what it is..I wish we knew what was going wrong. Can anyone help me? I want to do this for him...and I remember that it felt good that one time (lol), Im just scared and nervous. Please Please Please help! (man this is embarrassing for me)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 8:06am

Being scared and nervous could be the problem.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 5:13pm
ok, here is a little secret that will help. Many times a woman will "clentch" her sphincter muscle tight as he tries to enter. This is why people say she needs to relax.. Here is how to get that muscle to relax...As he enters, pushout as if you are going to poop(you won`t). This relaxes the sphincter muscle and he may slide right in. You see, one can not "clentch" AND pushout at the same time.(impossible) So pushout kind of hard, the harder you pushout the more relaxed the hole will become....Practice with a vibrator first on your own, and you will see it works well....
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2005
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 7:27pm

First of all, don't be embarrassed. This is probably the second or third most common issue associated with sex. Secondly, I wouldn't recommend anal intercourse if either of you are drunk. The inner lining of the rectum is very sensitive and can tear easily with undue force. Drunkenness will only serve to make you less sensitive and therefore more at risk to cause damage.

Anal intercourse, when properly done, should be a pleasurable experience, not one that causes pain or discomfort. If it's not, it should not be done. The problem is that most people do not understand it, nor do they know how to prepare for it properly--and preparation is as necessary to proper anal intercourse as is warming up before an athletic activity.

I'll offer two general suggestions, and a couple of links that will get into more specific detail. Before anal penetration is attempted, the anal and genital areas must be completely relaxed. A woman should have had at least one orgasm prior to engaging in anal intercourse. An orgasm will tense and then relax the muscles associated with this activity. I can also not stress the point enough that both partners must approach this activity with the understanding that it is the woman, not the man, who is in COMPLETE CONTROL at all times. She is the only one who knows what is going on in her body.

Dr. Jack Morin is probably the world's most respected authority on the subject. Googling him will bring you a wealth of material. Also google Tristan Taormino, who's website is very comprehensive and informative, and includes a blog and many additional links.