help, I want sex all the time....
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help, I want sex all the time....
| Sun, 07-03-2005 - 9:55pm |
edited.
Edited 7/4/2005 9:41 pm ET ET by captains_girl
Edited 7/4/2005 9:41 pm ET ET by captains_girl
| Sun, 07-03-2005 - 9:55pm |
It's funny, because you described something that happened with my last relationship. I wanted sex and I felt really rejected and like a complete nympho when my guy just didn't have the same drive. He was depressed though, didn't realise it and then bang, it just suddenly hit him and he was virtual dead to the world. We ended up splitting up and that sounds shallow but I never realised how important sex was to me in a relationship. Not just the orgasm but the emotional feelings attatched to it, the touching, the closeness, and being desired by someone you love feels great. Maybe you just genuinely have completely different sex drives- but seriously, you sure about depression or stress because it does just sneak up on people.
I hate to sound cruel and undermine you, and I understand you love him but if you feel frustrated and unwanted that's not good or fun and it's those kind of feelings that relationships end on. Is it worth that nagging inside you for the nights every couple of weeks when you do get it on? Sorry, I had to throw that in there, you're the one in the relationship and I'm reading about it online so I don't have the proper grasp of the situation but personally, it sounds like he must be stressed out or something. Especially the whole
<<"Even if he is hard, he says that only his penis is ready, but the brain-penis connection is not there.">>
If a guys hard pretty sure it's because he's aroused and wants to have sex.
**But if there is anybody here who disagrees with me please tell me I'm wrong, this is just my expirience**
Please tell him how this makes you feel. If he realised how rejected you feel maybe this would help him see and tend to your needs, and that is the basis of a good relationship. You want X ammount of sex he wants Z ammount of sex...Meet in the middle somewhere.
You two have to start communicating.....and that doesn't mean "I want".....it means talking about feelings, and talking about compromise. Right now you two are on entirely different wave lengths, and if you don't get on the same wave lenghth, then it's not going to work.
His libido is much lower than yours. It has nothing to do with YOU....it's just the way he is. There's no reason for you to feel unwanted and undesirable. That's insecurity on your part, in YOUR mind, not his. Fighting about it doesn't fix it. Parading around in lingerie doesn't fix it. Discussing it, and finding some compromise is the only thing that will change anything. If you had sex 2-3 times a week, you wouldn't be obsessing about it all the time.
I don't know what his problem is, nor do you. He might have a hormone imbalance. He might have other things wrong with him that could affect his libido. Maybe he should get a check up to see what's going on physically. You say he's not depressed, but you don't know that. Him saying he has to be "happy" to have sex kind of says that much of the time he's NOT happy.....that's depression
Bottom line is that sex is much more important to you than it is to him. If he's not willing to compromise to make you happy, then there's more going on than you realize, or want to admit. If you can't compromise, then there's not much hope for the relationship.
Don't throw hints around, you two have to talk about it without getting into a fight about it.