Help me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
Help me!
18
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 11:17pm
My boyfriend and I finally decided it was time to have sex. We just cant make it work! We like, cant even get him inside of me. Its so weird. Help!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: alaxel
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 11:29pm
Usually when that happens, it means you don't know enough about what you're doing, and that you're not ready to be doing it. How old are you? How old is he?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
In reply to: alaxel
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 11:34pm
We are both 18 and going out for over a year. We are in love and feel we are ready.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: alaxel
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 12:04am

We probably need answers to a few questions before we can suggest anything specific.

Can he get a nice hard erection?
Are you aroused and lubricated and relaxed?
Are you doing it in private or trying to hurriedly do it without much privacy?

Give us a bit of background.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
In reply to: alaxel
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 8:16am
I am well lubricated, we are always in a private place, at first I thought he wasnt hard enough maybe...I guess that could be it? What is to be done about that though?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: alaxel
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 8:38am

If the problem is he is not hard enough, then try more foreplay on him with oral and manual stimulation.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2005
In reply to: alaxel
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 9:48am

If he isn't hard enough to get in you, then he isn;t hard enough to be keeping the condom on....obvioulsy DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER having sex without a condom on, and secondly, let him use his fingers to loosen you up a bit.

By the way, make sure you use a WATER BASED lubricant on the condom as others can deteriorate the condom itself. And, you only need a drop or two.

also, make sure you know how to put the condom on and take it out/off. if he touches the worng side of the condom to the tip of penis and then turns it around...guess what, he just planted sperm right up in you.

Make sure he holds the ring of the condom when pulling out of you as it might slip off and spill some into you.

Never reuse a condom and make sure it stays on! ALWAYS.

And remember, CONDOMS DO BREAK. if he notices it all of a sudden feels wetter or different, get him out of you ASAP - watch your calendar as well.

MOST IMPORTANTLY - you say you are 18 and in love. Before you have sex with him ask yourself these questions:
1) If I get pregnant, will he be able to financially take care of me and the baby for the next 18 yrs.
2) if I get pregnant, will he be involved in mine and the baby's life for the rest of our lives.
3) Is the percieved pleasure worth that much of a risk?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2005
In reply to: alaxel
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 4:11pm
I have read and agree with all of the helpful responses given to this young girl. One thing that bothered me is that she said they were in love! HONEY, you don't have any idea what love is, I promise you that. It's ok to have strong feelings and strong enough to have sex but please do not think this is love. If he says he's in love with you more than likely he's into you but either knows that in order for him to get what he wants, meaning sex, he will say that and anything else to get it or he THINKS he loves you. I remember being 18 and I look back at my first "love" and laugh. The boy I was dating and ultimatly had sex with was with me for more than 2 years. So I thought I loved him and he loved me turns out we didn't! I hope you'v ethought this through and I hope you are seriosuly ready. There is so much that comes with having sex than just the physical feeling. To add to that there are ceratin precautions you MUST take before you give it up. Please be careful and do your research honey so you have no regrets!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2005
In reply to: alaxel
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 4:22pm
I was going to add the "don;t know what love is..." as well, but when it comes from us guys, we usually get blasted pretty good. Thanks for letting her know the truth...and I again urge her to honestly answer the three questions I posed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: alaxel
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 5:20pm

<<>>


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: alaxel
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 5:22pm
Why would an 18 yr old not know if she is in love or not?

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Pages