Help me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
Help me!
18
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 11:17pm
My boyfriend and I finally decided it was time to have sex. We just cant make it work! We like, cant even get him inside of me. Its so weird. Help!

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: alaxel
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 5:45pm
I agree Tish. 18 IS young, but many young people know when they feel true love. I married at 20 and I certainly knew the difference.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
In reply to: alaxel
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 6:05pm
I thank those who have tried to help me very much. I am on the birth control pill, and if there is a chance of pregnancy which we have already discussed just in case, both he and myself will do everything we can to make us a family. I have already discussed these things with my mother as well. I know, eighteen might seem young to a lot of you, but for those of you who fell in love young like I have, know that it is the most amazing thing. Thanks guys
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: alaxel
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 8:21pm
Sometimes you have to wonder how many of the couples out there are more committed than many of the older ones who claim to know what love is, LOL!

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: alaxel
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 9:27pm
It's nice to know you can talk to your mom openly.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: alaxel
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 5:25am

>>HONEY, you don't have any idea what love is, I promise you that. <<

Well, I can't see how you can say that. I fell in love at 18 and married her some 10 years later. People DO fall in love at 18. The difference with falling in love at 18 and falling in love when you're older is simply experience and more realistic expectations. The emotion isn't any different.

Avatar for incognito_mosquito
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: alaxel
Sun, 06-12-2005 - 8:11am
I completely disagree that an 18 year old can't know what love is. I was quite a bit younger than that the first time I really fell in love, and the love that I felt then was no different than the love I feel now, and I'm alot older than 18.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: alaxel
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 8:31pm

Sometimes you do and sometimes you don't, even at 18. I will say that many times, what teenagers think is love is just lust and hormones. But not always. I was 17 when I met DH, married at 18 and we just celebrated our 20th anniversary last month, with two terrific sons aged 18 and 13. The friends who introduced us (she and I were still in HS at the time, lol) just celebrated 21 years and she's my age.

My inlaws weren't much older than that when they met - she was working at a soda fountain and DFIL came in upset because he'd just found out he was being shipped overseas (Korea). They married about 6 weeks later and have been married for 50 years. Her sister met her DH and married him after 1 week. My SIL married her DH when she was 18 and he was 17. They're still together after 17 years. But my sis didn't get married until she was 30 and that is on the rocks as we speak.

These aren't the typical cases, I know. But it can happen. And often too, when you think at that age that your heart is broken and you will never find love again, you get over it quicker than you'd think. Everyone is different though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2005
In reply to: alaxel
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 11:51am


Bah--more information from the Bureau of Sexual Education...

Listen sweetheart, first of all, the first thing to do is not to worry so much. To put your mind at ease, you should flip through these boards for a while and learn about the wide range of sexual interests, obsessions, problems and solutions that sexually active people go through--even married people who have known and been with the same person for 20 years or more. If I know anything about the female mind, and I'm not so sure about that, it's that even during sex you can be wandering around the school hallway, talking to your friend Jenny about your Chemistry grades, or what about that guy at the gas station? Did he really say that?!?!!?!! No! He Couldn't Have!

You should be on him, wanting that penis inside you. It sounds crude, and unlovely, but that's the basic thing here.

But it sounds like the problem is probably that HE is nervous. I know I during my first time was probably only 1/3 hard. My more experienced girlfriend, however, took matters into her own hands (and mouth) and just jumped on top of me and forced it in. Trust me, the male sexual imagination is Very Delicate when confronted with the real thing. You may have take charge! After that, he'll be ready every minute of the day. Getting through the door, though, can be a very difficult thing to get your imagination--and therefore your body--around.

But if he IS nervous--and this is VERY COMMON! so don't worry!--you guys should just slow down, play with eachother, maybe get into some position so that when he's ready, you can slip on that condom and sink down onto it. (Putting on a condom is not hard, by the way, but practice on a banana if you want to.)

Finally, really, you don't need anyone's advice on how to have sex. Really. You two love eachother. Pay no attention to the "you're not in love!" people on this board. It is as individual a thing as there is in human life. I was certainly in love at your age. But my advice is: pay no attention to the technique freaks and no-love-niks.

In fact, I bet by the time you return to these boards, you will have had sex. And the basic thing you should know is, it only gets better! So don't worry, use a condom, and go to it.

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