Help me!
Find a Conversation
Help me!
| Thu, 06-09-2005 - 11:17pm |
My boyfriend and I finally decided it was time to have sex. We just cant make it work! We like, cant even get him inside of me. Its so weird. Help!
| Thu, 06-09-2005 - 11:17pm |
Pages
C H A R A C T E R
>>HONEY, you don't have any idea what love is, I promise you that. <<
Well, I can't see how you can say that. I fell in love at 18 and married her some 10 years later. People DO fall in love at 18. The difference with falling in love at 18 and falling in love when you're older is simply experience and more realistic expectations. The emotion isn't any different.
Sometimes you do and sometimes you don't, even at 18. I will say that many times, what teenagers think is love is just lust and hormones. But not always. I was 17 when I met DH, married at 18 and we just celebrated our 20th anniversary last month, with two terrific sons aged 18 and 13. The friends who introduced us (she and I were still in HS at the time, lol) just celebrated 21 years and she's my age.
My inlaws weren't much older than that when they met - she was working at a soda fountain and DFIL came in upset because he'd just found out he was being shipped overseas (Korea). They married about 6 weeks later and have been married for 50 years. Her sister met her DH and married him after 1 week. My SIL married her DH when she was 18 and he was 17. They're still together after 17 years. But my sis didn't get married until she was 30 and that is on the rocks as we speak.
These aren't the typical cases, I know. But it can happen. And often too, when you think at that age that your heart is broken and you will never find love again, you get over it quicker than you'd think. Everyone is different though.
Bah--more information from the Bureau of Sexual Education...
Listen sweetheart, first of all, the first thing to do is not to worry so much. To put your mind at ease, you should flip through these boards for a while and learn about the wide range of sexual interests, obsessions, problems and solutions that sexually active people go through--even married people who have known and been with the same person for 20 years or more. If I know anything about the female mind, and I'm not so sure about that, it's that even during sex you can be wandering around the school hallway, talking to your friend Jenny about your Chemistry grades, or what about that guy at the gas station? Did he really say that?!?!!?!! No! He Couldn't Have!
You should be on him, wanting that penis inside you. It sounds crude, and unlovely, but that's the basic thing here.
But it sounds like the problem is probably that HE is nervous. I know I during my first time was probably only 1/3 hard. My more experienced girlfriend, however, took matters into her own hands (and mouth) and just jumped on top of me and forced it in. Trust me, the male sexual imagination is Very Delicate when confronted with the real thing. You may have take charge! After that, he'll be ready every minute of the day. Getting through the door, though, can be a very difficult thing to get your imagination--and therefore your body--around.
But if he IS nervous--and this is VERY COMMON! so don't worry!--you guys should just slow down, play with eachother, maybe get into some position so that when he's ready, you can slip on that condom and sink down onto it. (Putting on a condom is not hard, by the way, but practice on a banana if you want to.)
Finally, really, you don't need anyone's advice on how to have sex. Really. You two love eachother. Pay no attention to the "you're not in love!" people on this board. It is as individual a thing as there is in human life. I was certainly in love at your age. But my advice is: pay no attention to the technique freaks and no-love-niks.
In fact, I bet by the time you return to these boards, you will have had sex. And the basic thing you should know is, it only gets better! So don't worry, use a condom, and go to it.
Pages