Help me come out of my shell!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2007
Help me come out of my shell!
1
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 4:40pm

I posted for the first time over on the fantasy board yesterday. Today I am coming over here to seek some help. I am basically a "virgin" if you will, when it comes to being assertive and outgoing in the bedroom. My DH and I have a good sex life, but there is lots of room for improvement. The problem is that I am too shy to initiate anything- I went outside of my box and actually went to a store and bought a few basic toys- and my DH just asked me why I did that- and never took them out of the box. I am feeling so frustrated- and depressed because I feel a little bit rejected. So- I need tips and pointers and encouragement to come out of my shell and to gain confidence in myself.

I am so new to all this- I have never actually owned or used a toy. I have had pretty much only the standard sexual encounters. Am I nuts for yearning for more- is there more? I think that I intimidated my DH a little by just throwing it out there. I am sure I need to ease him into the idea of new things. But now that he has backed off- I don't know how to get his interest. Not to mention- what in the world am I supposed to do in the meantime?

Carsyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 9:43pm

Welcome to the board carsyn.

A lot of guys are intimidated by sex toys when they are first introduced to them. Of course, you can use your toys while masturbating, but it might make your DH feel more relaxed if you let him know that you want to use the toys "with" him instead of alone. Just telling him that you wanted to try to be a bit more assertive in the bedroom, that you thought the addition of toys would bring new excitement for both of you, could be a place to start.

Here's an article that you might also find helpful:

Sex Toys Are Win-Win: A Guide for Men
Why guys shouldn't be intimidated by vibrators
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,traceycox_8jmprmrf,00.html

Hopefully, he will be open to this new addition -- keep us posted.



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