help me...i cant feel a thing during sex
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help me...i cant feel a thing during sex
| Wed, 06-15-2005 - 11:31am |
I lost it to a guy who lost it to me. We have been together for almost 2 years now and we are sexually active. I can't feel sex. I dont know what it is. He likes it but I can't feel a thing. Does anyone know any positions or things to help me out!? PLEASE!

I would recommend that you check out www.the-clitoris.com for some helpful hints and information.
Do you spend enough time in foreplay so that you are highly aroused before penetration? If so, is he providing direct clitoral stimulation during intercourse? IF not, then it's not unusual that you feel very little.
Most of the sexual sensation we enjoy begins and ends with the clitoris. The vagina itself has few nerve endings, other than at the entrance, g-spot for some women, and the cervix. So, there will be little distinct sensation other than pressure and some friction at the entrance. Approximately 80% of women require direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
Too much lubrication, natural or otherwise, can also cause a lack of friction.
It could be that your expectations about what you would feel, as was the case for many of us, were incorrect from the start.
So, try more continuous clitoral stimulation through intercourse, correct the lube problem if necessary, try different positions and angles like woman on top to allow for direct clitoral contact, and be realistic in your expectations for intercourse. Whatever works for you during masturbation will also work during intercourse. If you are able to orgasm easily with manual stimulation, then incorporate that into intercourse.
If you are not that aroused prior to intercourse, you may not feel very much, except for a little pressure. Usually, you'll know when you're aroused enough, because you may crave to be inserted or for some kind of resistance(pressure) to be applied. Many women describe this sensation as a feeling of wanting to be "fulfilled." Your genitals go through many physical changes, depending on the amount of stimulation it's receiving, both mentally and physically. Arousal will cause engorgement of blood in many areas including the vascular layer just below the vaginal walls. I know for me in this state the vaginal walls themselves become very sensitive and intercourse is extremely pleasurable. If I'm not as aroused, this feeling isn't present. So that may be the reason. Additionally, sometimes if I orgasm prior to intercourse, I lose that feeling as well because I'm not as aroused as I was prior to orgasming.
And as Kat mentioned...the amount and consistency of your lubrication can cause that non-friction feeling...no matter how engorged you are.
The most important thing to remember is that you're perfectly normal. It's most likely that you're not aroused enough prior to intercourse, or your lubrication is too slippery or in excess. You're new to sex. It takes time to learn about your body and how it responds during partner sex. Try hard not to "goal" for anything; it's a sure way to lead to disappointment and anxiety. Sex is about relaxing and feeling pleasure. Listen to your body and go with it. It may be screaming out commands, but if you're too occupied thinking about what it's not doing, you'll miss out. ;-)
Edited 6/15/2005 1:26 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam