Help! My sex drive is higher than his!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Help! My sex drive is higher than his!
4
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 1:43pm
I am a little embarrased to say this, but my sex drive has actually gotten higher than my boyfriends! He is a young guy (32), but told me that "he isn't as young as he used to be, and his sex drive isn't what it once was." He's acting like he's much older! I try to initiate sex more and get turned down a lot, which is frustrating, but then when he is ready he expects me to be fully ready as well! He has tried a few pills (alzare, Ziophetyr) to increase his "size" (something he wants to do, I told him he's fine to me as is" That started a few months ago. I'm confident there isn't anything going on with another woman, so what can I do? I buy sexy lingerie, change my "look" frequently, and am very fit. He seems attracted to me still, but my sex drive is just so much higher than his, and I don't want to freak him out by being overly aggresive, but, really, what can I do??


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 2:00pm

It would depend on the sex drive difference.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 2:08pm
I know, I've tried to tell him hes wasting money, but he still insists on it! He watches porn so I guess hes comparing himself to that! He is usually comfortable with anywhwere to 1-3 times a week and I would like it evry day (maybe even more than once!) thats a pretty big difference. Then, when we do it, he either only lasts for a few minutes, or (lately) wants me to "do all the work" so to speak. If I'm going to have to wait, I at least want to "blast off" when we do have sex! Also, he lost his job a few weeks ago, and I think that made things worse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 5:30pm
Dear Tropixx,

Congratulations! Now you know what it feels like for 95% of the men on the planet :0).

All BS aside, this is just part of "couplehood". Most couples don't have matching sex drives so you compromise and meet in the middle. All relationships involve compromise in order to get our needs met. Sometimes it means having a little less of what we want in an ideal world and sometimes it means having a little more than we normally want. It equals out in the end. The other thing to remember is that nothing ever stays the same; don't be surprised if all of a sudden things reverse on you: you want to cool it and he seems to not be able to get enough...again, just part of the relationship dance.

I'm sure that everything will work out fine. Express your needs, allow him to express his and things will go smoothly.

Peace.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 10:44am
Thanks, Scott, that does make sense!

Well...I tried some 'dirty talk" with him last night, acted really suggestive and flirtatious, but not overly aggressive. Guess what? I walked to the store and when I came back, he had the lights off, romantic music playing, and was ready for action! I hope this continues..I'm going to start just being more teasing and playful with him, I think he likes to be the one feeling like the "aggressor"!