Help, sexual acts in his sleep?!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2005
Help, sexual acts in his sleep?!?
8
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 7:58pm
My boyfriend has this tendancy to finger me in my sleep.. while he's asleep too!! this doesn't happen all the time, but its happened on several occations. It's starting to happen more than one time in the same night too. What could be causing this and how do we work on making it stop? He's so embaressed about it and it is akward waking up to him pleasuring me and then finding out he doesn't even know he's doing it. This never happened w/ his previous girlfriends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 8:42pm
My two cents won't help you too much because I love "wake-up sex/foreplay". Attacking my husband while he slept is something that I absolutely enjoyed (whereas he never told me to stop, nor did he stop me, I assume he liked it too). Even when I wasn't "intentionally" attacking him, my hands would wonder to that area, regardless of how we slept. For me, I enjoy touching that area and that maybe all that's behind your BF's movement too. Because I don't know how to make it stop, I suggest maybe enjoying the playfulness that it can become.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 11:56pm

I'm with the other poster.......what is so terrible about it? Why would he be embarassed, and why don't you take advantage of it, rather than trying to stop it. If nothing else, you can be pretty sure he's dreaming of YOU.

Other than your sleep being interrupted.....it's not a big deal. Why not join in once you're awake, and give him some "action" too?

If he's truly sleeping....it's like sleepwalking......he has no control over it.....it's his subconscious taking over. Again, you should be complimented, he's even thinking about you and pleasuring you in his sleep!

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 1:04am

Well, other than disturbing your sleep, what harm is it? I love sex as much as the next person but I'm not sure I'd appreciate several times a night myself, particularly if you have to get up early. Why not just remove his hand and roll over on your stomach?




Edited 8/6/2005 1:07 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 4:10am

I'm inclined to disagree with those that say "what harm is it?". Anyone who wakes me from a deep sleep is a dead man LOL. Grrrrr

Solutions? Perhaps wearing long pyjamas till the habit stops?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 7:41am

I'm with the others here.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2005
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 6:02pm
hehe tish. im with all you on this one. my bf and i sleep naked ( staying over his house tonight too .. woohoo ! ) and when hes sleeping ill play with his goods .. hes a deep sleeper so he normally doesnt wake up .. but i have my fun anyways .. and it kid of makes me giggle. as for you .. dont be worried and he shouldnt be embarrassed. my bf falls asleep all the time too with his hand cupped over my area. i like it :) puts a smile on my face when i go na-nites. if i were you id just let him have his way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 12:08pm

Hey sparky.

Regardless of how less or more conservative you are compared to others, and regardless of whether he is accidentally causing you pain/discomfort or not, a change in his or your sleeping position help in at least 'some' anyway. Not the first time I heard of this either, reminds me of a discussion I read on one of the male message boards last year...and more than one wife had questioned about it too if I'm not mistaken!

I'm curious now, in the other discussion I referred to, there was mention of fondling all over the body, but you here mentioned just fingering, if I'm not mistaken. Is that the case or does he kinda grope you all over as well?

As far as what causes it, I'd be curious to know too. Just a certain position with you so physically near may be enough to trigger something like that while his mind drifts away during sleep. Who really knows. I wouldn't mind reading some interesting guesses on it though.

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 7:03pm

I suppose that it's positive because you know even if he's unconcious he still finds you irresistable! While it's a little odd, I wouldn't be too embarrassed by it. Just one of those things.

If you just want to sleep and aren't in the mood to take it further and wake him properly, you could always just try moving his hand. If that doesn't work, how about pinching the back of his hand? I'm sure that even his subconcious will learn to stop if what it's doing ends up painful.