HELP!! Trying to understand "dirty talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
HELP!! Trying to understand "dirty talk"
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Wed, 08-04-2004 - 3:44pm
n


Edited 8/22/2004 8:07 pm ET ET by legshakermaker

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Peopel have different ideas about dirty talk. Ours always involves each other. It doesn't have to involve other people. I think it is really inconsiderate of her to continue when you have told her how you feel. Will she keep the focus on just the two of you?

Leticia

Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sounds like pushing boundaries and the idea of risk taking is what gets her going in sex and for you it is being emotionally close to the person you are with. She gets off in situations that aren't "safe" and you are the opposite. There can be various factors here, she may not feel enough for you and is creating drama to make it more emotionally exciting for herself, she may be afraid of true intimacy and needs to feel she has the upper hand all the time and does so by feeding your insecurity, etc.

What caused the two of you to break up in the first place?

This is off topic, but do you happen to be a Cancer or Taurus?

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anonymous user
I have to agree with you that I think it is a little strange and I would not feel comfortable if my bf talked to me like that while we were fooling around. Actually I would get upset and refuse to continue if he was going to do that. But that is just me. I do enjoy dirty talk but not like that. Just about how good it is with my partner and nobody else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004

Hi Legshaker and welcome to the board.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Have you heard of "sexual incompatibility"? I think you two have got it! I agree with Tish that it sounds like she has a drinking problem, and also massive insecurity. She's been obsessed with her breasts, and now that she's had them enlarged, she desperately needs your compliments about them. All of her talk about other men is insecurity. She needs that attention to build her ego, and she needs to tell YOU about it to be sure that you understand that other men want her, and you'd better be grateful that she's with you.

I'm sure most of this was going on before your breakup, and I can't help but wonder what posessed you to start up again with her. She's very self centered, and it seems your feelings don't mean much to her.

No, you're not overreacting.....most men wouldn't put up with that behavior. All I can say is good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
>>She's been obsessed with her breasts, and now that she's had them enlarged, she desperately needs your compliments about them. All of her talk about other men is insecurity. She needs that attention to build her ego, and she needs to tell YOU about it to be sure that you understand that other men want her, and you'd better be grateful that she's with you<<

Ding Ding Ding! I couldn't put my finger on exactly what my impression of the situation is, but you hit the nail on the head for me :o)

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
damn, i went and messed with her man!


Edited 8/23/2004 1:49 am ET ET by legshakermaker
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
n


Edited 8/23/2004 1:50 am ET ET by legshakermaker
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
n


Edited 8/23/2004 1:50 am ET ET by legshakermaker
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
I don't know anyone who would like that. I love dirty talk, but we keep it to just one another. On occasion, if we're watching a porn flick - he might say "do you like that dick"? Something like that, but not talking about other people with dirty talk. That would make anyone feel kinda uncomfortable, it would be!

Tell her to talk dirty about YOU and your tools and skills.

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