help!...2 virgins

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
help!...2 virgins
3
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 1:44am
Well,

My SO and I have tried 3 times to have sex and its just isn't happening!... GRRRR... honestly..... I can live without it... so i could probably be a little bit more.. well whats the word, not pushy, but hmmm... well.... more foreward... take some control... but when we try i feel totally helpless because when he's pushed up against me i cant feel him... same with his fingers.. i dont feel him much in the general area until hes well... inside of me... so i can help guide him and ive tried with my hands but that isn't helping.... its like when he thrusts hes not pushing in hes just moving himself further away..... to be honest we are both getting frustrated with ourselves.... it is somewhat hard since im not exactly skinny I'm 5"10 and weigh about 170... and he could kill me if he sees this but he's 6'5" and weighs over 350... so flat missionary hasn't worked well, and so the other night he put my legs kina on his shoulders and then when he thrusted he moved away from the area instead of in... WHATS WRONG WITH US!.... now i see why people always say one person at least should have some experience!.. lol just kidding... Any tips would be wonderful... and well appreciated... oh yeah we've tried me being on top but i feel soo stupid!... i see it on movies but to get him in me i dont know what im doing.... HHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 9:48am
Like anything else, it takes practice. It doesn't always come "naturally". There are MANY positions you can try, if one doesn't work, try another.

Because of his size, he's probably having a hard time holding himself up, let alone trying to move. Also, because of his size, it's hard for him to get his penis close enough to your vagina, because of his abdomen.

Why would you feel "stupid" on top? That's the favorite position of many women, because you're controlling the movements, and if you're sitting upright, stomachs don't get in the way. As for "getting him in".....if he has an erection, and you're relaxed and lubricated, you just hold him, and lower yourself onto him. Don't squat on your heels, that's very hard on your legs. Kneel, and instead of trying to bounce up and down like a man......just move slowly and sensuously, rotating your hips, and thrusting your hips.

If you feel "stupid", maybe you're just not ready for sex yet. In any case, it takes time and practice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 12:54pm
me and my boyfriend of 7 months are having the exact same issues, only thing is, i dont feel silly on top, i'd like it. but missionary or other, we cant seem to do it. if you find an answer, PLEASE let me know!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 1:26pm
Lovin Ppl,

A few things -

What do you mean when you say, "when he's pushed up against me i cant feel him... same with his fingers.. i dont feel him much in the general area until hes well... inside of me..."

What *do* you feel? Nothing anywhere? No sensations? I don't get that, but I will make a few suggestions. The most important is to make sure you communicate! Talk, talk, talk! Either before you begin, when intellectually exploring the subject can put some folk off, or while, when it can enhance the arousal.

1. Lots of foreplay. The more you play before, the more you will feel, as your sensitivity will increase with your arousal!

2. Get comfortable with your sexuality together; get comfortable seeing each other naked and aroused. The more you can be at ease, the less embarrased and frustrated you will be because you will be able to communicate better.

3. Greenteabag's comment of you being on top may or may not work. Yes, it is a favorite of many women. Also a favorite of many men, too ;-) For a large man, his hips are high and wide for a woman to straddle. I know this because my husband is not a small man. My hips are stretched to their limits sometimes. Your height might work to your advantage there, though, your thighs long enough to reach the surface of the bed to support your weight. Mine are not.

4. My personal favorite position is doggy-style. Now, with him on his knees behind me on mine, with my parts high in the air, I can get full, deep and very satisfying penetration. Also, he can rub the head of his penis over my clitoris and stimulate me into orbit.... Yes, indeedy. Delish! LOL

good luck sweets!