help...someone, anyone!

Avatar for sara884
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
help...someone, anyone!
9
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 10:54am
i just recently got engaged, a little over a month ago. we have lived together for about 16 months now. for the past 2 weeks i have been having dreams of having sex with other people. people that i know. i wake up in the morning and have no idea why i am having these dreams. does anyone know why im dreaming like this? is it a bad thing, should i feel absolutley horrible about myself? please help me!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 11:58am

You have absolutely NO control over your dreams. They are a product of your subconscience. Sometimes dreams like that are happening because you're not sure of the relationship, down deep you're having doubts. Sometimes they're from stress, at home, at work, or anywhere. Dreams like that aren't unusual, even for women in good relationships. I've even heard of women waking up from a dream like that in the middle of an orgasm.

ARE you having doubts about the relationship? After living together for 16 months, are you wondering when if ever you'll get married, or wondering if HE has doubts? Sometimes we need to listen to our doubts and fears.

In any case, there is no reason for you to feel like a horrible person. All you can do is try to think of some reason why it's happening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 1:04pm

As Dakine said, we can't control our dreams and no, you should not feel horrible about it.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 5:05pm

Hon, I don't know anyone who hasn't had those kinds of dreams. And since dreams aren't always straight forward in their meaning, you can't really interpret them literally.

So, you may be having sex with someone you know in the dream but the act, person, setting, etc. could actually mean something else in your subconsciousness.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 6:14pm
Its just stress from your recent commitment. Its normal
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 9:15pm
You are probably having dreams about people you may desire to have sex with, so you think it's within your subconscious mind and why you think you should feel guilty or have some "control" over it. You know what will convince you that you have absolutely no control over your dreams? When you have a dream about having sex with the last person you would ever want to in your conscious mind.....I know, because it happened to me. I had a full-out sexual encounter with someone who I'm not only in the least attracted to, but whom I do not like at all. I remember waking up and having the same exact feeling that you have when you have a horrible nightmare---relief! ;-)
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 3:56am
Freud's book Interpetation of Dreams and the popular media has given too much attention to dreams. Dreams are not interpetitive and there is absolutely no sceintific evidence to support Freud's book regarding dreams. I would not worry or feel bad about what you are dreaming.
Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-07-2006 - 12:33am
Sara, dreams take items from your memory and weave a story about these unconnected thoughts. There is absolutely no logical reason for the dreams that our minds conjure up, except that they usually include people we know. So you have no reason to be upset about your dreams.


Edited 10/8/2006 11:33 pm ET by gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2005
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 2:33am

Hi Sara

have you thought perhaps you are not ready to commit to your fiancee fully. the dreams suggest that perhaps on some level your having doubts or perhaps your feeling anxious about beng engaged. perhaps talk your feelings over with a friend someone you can trust and confide in.

hope that helps sara
shaun

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 7:33pm

You are going to know more about your dreams and what they mean to you than any of us.

Its a good thing you are dreaming it means you are getting some deep sleep and that is good.

Sometimes your dreams are an outlet for things you are afraid to let yourself say or think when you a awake.

My guess is most people have similar dreams.

If you are having sex in your dream and it is so good that you fall out of the bed that might be a problem if you are on the top of a bunk bed. LOL

Yelling out someone else's name while cumming and sleeping next to someone else might create a problem. LOL ....otherwise I don't think you have a problem,

However, they are your dreams and you will know what what they mean.

Good luck

P.S. Sleep close to the floor just in case!!!!