He's TOO BIG for me!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2008
He's TOO BIG for me!!
3
Sat, 06-28-2008 - 10:56pm

Let me just say right off the bat that I LOVE sex. Especially with my last ex, we could do it all the time, and it just felt SO GOOD.

But this new guy I'm seeing is HUGE. A bit longer than everyone else I've ever had, but most definitely thicker. Much thicker. And all I can assume is that when he was circumcised when he was a baby that his skin was thick, because the ridge right under the head is very pronounced. And it HURTS!! Even when I'm very lubricated, and/or he takes it slow, it just doesn't feel "good"...it literally feels like something is just being way too intrusive! (And I'm going to scream if I hear, "Just remember, one day a baby will pass thru your vagina, and if it's big enough for that, it's big enough for any penis, which cannot be bigger than a 7-8 pound baby!" Yes, and when a 7 or 8 pound baby passes through your vagina, you have to have an epidural to deal with the pain, too!)

And don't get me started on trying to give oral...I could barely get my mouth around it!

I'm sad :-(




Edited 6/29/2008 12:29 am ET by hawaiianskies
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
Sun, 06-29-2008 - 3:28am

Yes, and when a 7 or 8 pound baby passes through your vagina, you have to have an epidural to deal with the pain, too!)


Uhm...actually No...you don't "have" to.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sun, 06-29-2008 - 7:09am

Welcome to the board, hawaiinskies. Sorry to hear you're sad.

I was seeing a guy at one time that I felt was too large too. While I might have been able to try new positions, lubes, etc., to make it work, I felt like it would ruin me for life. Seriously, this guy had to have been nearly the size of a beer bottle.

In hindsight, I realize a lot of things that might have contributed to our lack of sexcess. One, our relationship was very, very casual. We hadn't taken time to develop a relationship, so there weren't feelings attached to having sex -- it was just sex for sex. We didn't have (hadn't even heard of) lube. We didn't spend a great deal of time on foreplay. We were trying to have sex places like outdoors (I was living at home with parents and he was living with his cousins family). We didn't take things slow enough, didn't communicate well with each other about what we needed at the moment.

I know it didn't have anything to do with my feelings toward sex. I had probably 10 lovers before him, and was very hi libido.

You know, the baby statement is true -- your vagina does open up. You're also right about the pain. Some people like to practice different sexual things -- some people get into fisting, using very large dildos, even objects, so that is another thing that says "it is possible". Only thing they probably don't go from brushing their teeth to fisting in 30 seconds flat. It takes time, arousal, foreplay, trust, comfort, lube, etc. to be able to accept the fist or object (unless they're just really into pain and possibly tearing). I think knowing what to expect also makes it easier to accept these sorts of objects.

If I was in your shoes, and this was a guy I really cared about, then I would make a lot of efforts to work this out. Concentrate on foreplay, be in a relaxed but sensual setting, use extra lube, make sure you're highly (highly, highly) aroused prior to trying entry. You may not even try entry every time you're together. If you work up to a point where you're enjoying penetrative sex with him, then you'll likely be able to enjoy it more often and easier. The connection your brain makes to pain and/or pleasure can be like a switch.

Good luck with getting things to work smoothly, and let us know how everything turns out.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Sun, 06-29-2008 - 12:34pm
When really aroused the vaginal opening swells and opens pretty wide to accomodate a penis.