Hey, LTAS Old-Timers! (and new ones!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Hey, LTAS Old-Timers! (and new ones!)
13
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 8:36pm

I see Tally33 and Mancreature around so far (and a confusing board format compared to what I was used to ages ago) but do we still have Katdoc and Lynn and Michelle and anybody else from 2-3 (or is it 4?) years ago? Sorry, but I've forgotten some names and also refrained from using others because of privacy issues. I'm all excited about new developments in my life and want to get back in touch and talk about them...And, yes, they're board-relevant! My email is still the same on the board here, amazingly enough. I'll check back in soon and I hope everyone is well.

Shanno

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 9:21pm

Welcome back Shannon, glad you joined in again.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 9:35pm
Hi Shannon. Nice to see you back. Are you still based in the UK?


Edited 4/1/2005 10:38 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 11:06pm

SHAN!!!! OMG, how ARE you??? And how are the two not-so-little-ones-anymore?

I was just asking 'Katdoc' about you a couple of weeks ago, if she ever heard from you anymore. Last I heard from you, a move back to the US was upcoming. Updates girl, updates.

Lynnie dropped out of sight, emailed for awhile but it fell by the wayside. Katdoc I talk to by email several times a week but she left the board too. Michelle is about the same, not on the board but still emailing me. She asked about you not too long ago. Did you know she and her DH had a little girl? She's 2 last month. I keep up with Chezy via her blog but that's the extent of it.

Can't wait to hear from you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 12:16am

Hi Shannon! Were you around on Dr. Patti's sex board as well back then? Don't recall talking to ya much, but familiar name anyway.

Different board you say?, lol, different IVillage all around. So whats going on with those new developments? :)

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 8:49am

Hi again, everyone!

Katmandoo, we moved back to the us about a year after moving to the UK. That just didn't work out in SO many ways. We're in Kansas now, where I was born and (mostly) grew up, and where I have a lot of family still. I'm back working in construction again (yay!) and have a job that I love, been there for about a year and a half.

Tally, my "babies" are doing extremely well (and, yes, I did know Michelle had a little girl - I can't believe she's 2 already!). My son is in 3rd grade (!) and my daughter is going to be 4 in July. They are so completely different from each other it's hard to comprehend sometimes. My son is very intense and needy, emotionally volatile and...just a very "different" person LOL! I love him madly, even when he drives me to distraction. My daughter is independent and frighteningly bold, physically competent and fearless beyond her years, possibly to do with trying to keep up with her older brother or maybe she was just born that way LOL! Maybe that’s also why she's very "girly" and loves everything pink already and is already a clothes horse!

As for the personal developments, there have been quite a few. I won’t detail them all here because it would take far too long right now. The upshot of it is that I am in the process of getting divorced - amicably, thank goodness. I finally realized that my husband and I aren’t just sexually completely incompatible, but emotionally just about polar opposites. I stopped trying to expect either one of us to be different from what we truly are, because it was just making us both unhappy. When I couldn’t be what he wanted, I felt like a freak. And when he couldn’t be what I wanted, I still felt like a freak, but I was also angry at HIM for “not caring enough” to change. But the truth is that neither one of us is bad or wrong in and of ourselves, we’re just bad and wrong for each other.

Of course, we both still have issues and we both still hurt sometimes, but I think it’s going to be the best thing for us and for our children. I don’t want them growing up with our unaffectionate relationship as the model for what their own intimate relationships should be like. I’m not always as fair-minded about it as this may sound, either. I’m still trying to get over being angry at him for a lot of things and still trying, in lots of ways, to get over feeling sexually inadequate. He has sexual issues and problems that he will likely NEVER get over because he is in such deep denial about them. I had to make the decision not to take those on FOR him, because he repeatedly insisted that HE was not the one with the problem, *I* was.

Anyway, I’ll shut up now, except to say that part of my board-related developments here is that I’ve also (quite by accident) met someone very special who has brought light into my life again. Or rather helped me to see my OWN light again, in many ways. The logistical timing was crappy, what with me being in the middle of a divorce and him living a very long way from me, but we’ve done each other a world of good and I’m hoping that things work out for us.

Shan

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 9:16am

Funny thing,

whenever I confessed to Mrs. Para back in the old days that needed to improve or change something regarding our sex life, she'd put her hand over my mouth and tell me to stop feeling so and all. But then I'm not foolish enough to NOT confess something anyway just to make sure, lol. Fortunately we communicated too much, even if they were arguments, for us to not understand the real "us" in any situation. I just don't know what to do sometimes, lol, but hopefully I'll learn the secret someday from this board...I'm not getting any younger though. ;)

By the sounds of it, you two were really able to discuss things, even these hard issues you mentioned, whether problems resolved or not. Big pat on your back for that cause we still read so many times on these boards about those who don't even make it that far and end up in the bitter endings rather than more respectful ones like yours. So I'm glad to hear such an upside to your situation like this, by comparison anyway...good for you. :)

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 10:00am
Well, that's one of the things that I realized: our discussions weren't actually as productive as I thought. The last "discussion" we had about sex, which I thought at the time was going fairly well, since we were being reasonable and friendly and so on, ended with him saying: "I'm just not as interested in sex as you are. I guess what you need is some sort of animal man who wants to have sex all the time." I was so shocked and insulted, I couldn't even reply.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 10:14am

Wow, talk about a way of escaping the conversation, huh? Sorry to hear that. He definitely showed that your feelings weren't the pinnacle of his list; almost sounds like a buffer for his reputation, like many of us men do, even with the very same wording he used on you.

Regardless, you're on with your life without that now, and without it being unbearably bitter at that. I don't know you as well as some others do, but it sounds hopeful that your old board here will be a fun place for ya again. C ya around.

:)
:)

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 10:32am

Thanks, Para. It IS much easier for both of us not to be bitter now that our expectations are more realistic

And I'm really looking forward to catching up here (and sharing, to be honest)! I saw a post by gigi earlier - it's nice to see he's still around, too!

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 12:44pm
Glad to hear that you're back home among family and that you've got a new start on happiness. Welcome back!

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