high level porn use
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high level porn use
| Wed, 05-18-2005 - 9:33pm |
We all see threads from women who's men who indulge in high level porn use. I'm not talking once a week - I'm talking hours online every night. I'm talking about the man who masturbates so often that he's got no desire left for real sex with a real woman.
My thoughts are that this hypothetical man is weary of his marriage, and that the porn use is a symptom. That perhaps he no longer feels the love for his wife that he once did and instead of communicating the problems and fixing them - he retreats into porn.
Thoughts? Do you think that high level porn use is a symptom of a man who needs to address marriage issues?

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"I suppose my slant is that the porn using spouse should take the responsibility to make his problems known to the partner so that the problem can be solved together"
Yes but sometimes you need to decide whether you want to be right or be married.
You may need to be the one to step up and take the initiative in opening up a dialogue on whats wrong. It may not be fair, but its more likely to be effective. thats what realy counts in the end.
"I guess I assumed that his wife asked him to stop."
Even if a spouse asks one to stop and they don't, I don't think that qualifies as the diagnosis of a porn addiction.
I agree that the word "addiction" gets tossed around very freely.
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The OP specifically used "high level use" which could very well be an addiction.
The dictionary's definition of addiction:
The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something.
An instance of this: had an addiction for fast cars.
Edited 5/20/2005 6:30 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
Yes.
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My dictionary definition of addiction: Addiction is an uncontrollable compulsion to repeat a behavior regardless of its negative consequences.
To me, the defining point of addiction is the "uncontrollable" aspect.
Yes, this hypothetical man's wife may have asked him to stop, for the sake of the discussion, let's assume that he doesn't. If he can't control his need to use porn - then it's an addiciton. If he simply doesn't care what his wife wants - then it's choice.
So...if he's only looking at porn twice a year and she asks him to stop and he can't, then he's an addict? ;-)
"The OP specifically used "high level use" which could very well be an addiction."
Riiight, but that's not what I was talking about, if you'll pay attention to my post.
I was saying that just going against your spouses wishes does not an addiction make.
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To further some thoughts:
"I was saying that just going against your spouses wishes does not an addiction make."
True; as there are many addicts who aren't even in relationships.
Which brings me back to my original post. I simply don't feel that the amount of porn use is ALWAYS a direct result of problems in a relationship because there are people who aren't even in relationship that become addicts.
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