His Erection
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His Erection
| Fri, 02-03-2006 - 1:42pm |
A question for both men and women.....
Believe it or not, I have not had much sexual experience with men.. (I am in my 30's) However, that all has changed, and I have started to see a man (for 2 years now) and we have great sexual chemistry. We have sex on a regular basis, and every time we do, before we even get to any genital stimulation, he is hard before we even have our clothes off. Today, I noticed that he was soft, and it took about 30 seconds of oral/manual stimulation to get him fully erect. Once there, it was no problem, and he came quickly. My question is, is this pretty normal? Maybe I am spoiled with him being hard before we even touch, but was a little taken aback that he was soft (in fact, I have never had him in my mouth when he was soft in the whole 2 years that we have been together) Do most men need that direct stimulation before they get fully erect, or do most get hard before the actual act of sex? Because of lack of opportunity, we have sex maybe once every 2 weeks, so by the time we get to be together, the "sexual tension" has built up. This week, due to luck and opportunity, we were able to be together twice in one week... is that something to consider as well? Or am I just overreacting? BTW, he is a sexually healthy male in his 30's. (Never any problem with erection in the act of sex, or any problem with ejaculating.)
Thanks!
Believe it or not, I have not had much sexual experience with men.. (I am in my 30's) However, that all has changed, and I have started to see a man (for 2 years now) and we have great sexual chemistry. We have sex on a regular basis, and every time we do, before we even get to any genital stimulation, he is hard before we even have our clothes off. Today, I noticed that he was soft, and it took about 30 seconds of oral/manual stimulation to get him fully erect. Once there, it was no problem, and he came quickly. My question is, is this pretty normal? Maybe I am spoiled with him being hard before we even touch, but was a little taken aback that he was soft (in fact, I have never had him in my mouth when he was soft in the whole 2 years that we have been together) Do most men need that direct stimulation before they get fully erect, or do most get hard before the actual act of sex? Because of lack of opportunity, we have sex maybe once every 2 weeks, so by the time we get to be together, the "sexual tension" has built up. This week, due to luck and opportunity, we were able to be together twice in one week... is that something to consider as well? Or am I just overreacting? BTW, he is a sexually healthy male in his 30's. (Never any problem with erection in the act of sex, or any problem with ejaculating.)
Thanks!

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To my knowledge, there's really no 'rule' with this, grl03. Every man is different. I would pay no heed to this, as you said he has no problems in this area to speak of.
Best,
E :)
This is completely normal. Particularly for a guy that's past puberty. We all, male and female, have our days. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he has stuff on his mind. The important part is that it came to life when it was supposed to!
Haven't you ever had a time when you just couldn't have an orgasm, no matter what you tried? We're not "machines" and sometimes the bits and pieces are just a little out of sync.
It's nothing to be concerned about.
PS: sometimes it's fun just getting it there!
As the others said, completely normal and nothing at all to worry about.
As the others wrote, it is normal. His 'softness' maybe to due to fatique, upcoming illness, or maybe "twice in one week". Two things to remember though: 1) his softness didn't affect his hardness and 2) what is normal for him (hard or soft) will probably not apply to your next man.
XH needed sexual contact to get hard, yet current man gets hard just walking through the door (and he's over 50). As much as I consider that a total turn-on, I do miss taking a soft P***s and orally making it rock hard.
Grl
Hi Grl03,
You need to understand that even in the best of times, these organs can be very schizophrenic and unreliable. Women who have experience with different men over a period of years already know this, and know that it goes with the territory. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you'll stop trying to come up with definitive answers where there simply are none. We men are as much in the dark about the 'whys' as you are. We're just appreciative to have you there to help out and work around it, not to come up with answers.
So my advice is to stop asking why this happened and if it is normal or not. It'll only cause frustration, and that won't be good for anyone involved.
>>How does it feel for a man to go soft to hard in a women's mouth? Does it feel better for them? Do some men prefer that? It seems that many women do....<<
Being inside my SO's mouth always feels great to me, regardless of being hard or soft. Obviously, being hard intensifies the experience, as the nerve endings become more engorged with blood. I'm sure every man, and woman, has their own individual preferences.
You need to experiment with your BF until you find the things that bring the most pleasure. You need to learn how to communicate with one another honestly and openly--while you're making love--about what you're enjoying and not enjoying, objectively and without assigning blame--and the things that you might want to try that could work.
It's all a big, wonderful experiment full of infinite possibilities. ENJOY!
E :)
***Breathing a sigh of relief***
Grl
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