His ways....
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His ways....
| Wed, 09-28-2005 - 3:31pm |
I am so confused and hurt and mostly depressed. If anyone has been reading about me, i recently lost my virginity and the same day i lost my virginity i got pregnant. im 18. i did not keep the baby i got an abortion about a week ago (i was 7 weeks).. when i told my boyfriend the news that i was pregnant he was so nervous and kind of excited... but we both agreed where too young for the baby so thats why i aborted the baby.. but the time i was pregnant he was ALWAYS calling me and talking to me, he was just there!
After the procedure 2 days after actually, he stop calling me and if he does we talk for about 1 minute and he will say "im going to call you back.." and NEVER does, ive been crying myself to sleep everynight and before i told him im depressed and sad about the whole situation and that my body has changed so much after and that i have no friends to talk to.. only him. But now he isnt there, he does go to school and play football for college but still, before all of that NOW.. he was still doing that when we had time to have sex...and when i was pregnant he called me everyday, every hour.. minute... to the point where i was tired of him calling.
But now, im just confused, i wonder why hes acting this way towards me, i didnt get pregnant by myself you know.... ??
When i do talk to him, meaning when he calls me (because when i call his cell he doesnt answer) im going to tell him how i feel and tell him how ive been crying and stressing and if ive been crying and going thru hell these last couple days i mind as well be by myself.. i want him to know that. i love him sooo much but i dont deserve to feel this way.
im not being conceited but i know im very pretty and alot of guys have tryed so hard to be with me lately.. and i push them off. He knows this as well (my bf) but he seems to not care about it.
i dont know i need help, anyone knows why hes acting like this?? what should I do in th situation... im so lonely, scared and stresssed OUT, like crazy!
After the procedure 2 days after actually, he stop calling me and if he does we talk for about 1 minute and he will say "im going to call you back.." and NEVER does, ive been crying myself to sleep everynight and before i told him im depressed and sad about the whole situation and that my body has changed so much after and that i have no friends to talk to.. only him. But now he isnt there, he does go to school and play football for college but still, before all of that NOW.. he was still doing that when we had time to have sex...and when i was pregnant he called me everyday, every hour.. minute... to the point where i was tired of him calling.
But now, im just confused, i wonder why hes acting this way towards me, i didnt get pregnant by myself you know.... ??
When i do talk to him, meaning when he calls me (because when i call his cell he doesnt answer) im going to tell him how i feel and tell him how ive been crying and stressing and if ive been crying and going thru hell these last couple days i mind as well be by myself.. i want him to know that. i love him sooo much but i dont deserve to feel this way.
im not being conceited but i know im very pretty and alot of guys have tryed so hard to be with me lately.. and i push them off. He knows this as well (my bf) but he seems to not care about it.
i dont know i need help, anyone knows why hes acting like this?? what should I do in th situation... im so lonely, scared and stresssed OUT, like crazy!

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>>As far as I am concerned, you did not answer the specific questions. Are candidates for an abortion told and shown about heartbeats, looks, pain sensation, etc.? I believe those were the specific questions. Don't you? Asking if this information is presented has nothing to do with your opinion on the matter. It is asking a question about what actually happens in the counseling process. It sounds like you don't know or you do not choose to answer. You are too absorbed with the presumed perspective of the other person. I don't believe they ever discussed their personal views.<<
First off - This conversation is NOT about weather abortion is Right or Wrong Or in between, but the direction you and some others are going is coming dangerously close. I'm sure I can speak on many members behalf when I say I dont want this thread to turn into a moral/political debate/argument. This thread is for the support of the OP.
>>You are too absorbed with the presumed perspective of the other person. I don't believe they ever discussed their personal views.<<
Their personal views, although not expressed outright were implied by the nature of the the questions... esspecially the questions relating to the unborn. Given the OP's situation I feel that some of the imagery created by the suggestiveness of the writing is insensitive and inappropriete.
The Questions themselves I will not bother answering each directly but I will say this:
A Good reputable clinic that does abortions and other reproductive health/human services DOES provide an abundance of information and councelling that the pateint is required to go through BEFORE the procedure takes place. Weather the patient takes advantage of the resources available to them after is their choice. But before the procedure is done tests, screening and education does take place.
Out of lurkdom here. The poster did not say whether or not they thought it was right or wrong. They were asking questions about specifics that went on behind closed doors. I am assuming that they gave examples to be specific about what they wanted to know. Some people here seem to be claiming to know what goes on behind those closed doors and are not providing those specifics. If you know, you should be able to paint the scenario of what takes place. Example-Jan we are going to give you two sides to this issue. If you do not abort this baby, you may be an abusive parent to a child you may resent. Here are some statistics of how often that occurs. We also want to give you a break down of how expensive children are. Here is a cost outline of the first three years of life. Diapers will run.....Doctor's visits will run... Daycare will run.... These statistics say you will not go to college and graduate. These statistics show how many women were happy with their decision. Now, on the other side of the coin. The embryo or fetus you carry or baby. Whatever you choose to call it, is like this. Here is the video of what it looks like now. You can see an ultrasound of what you have if you like. This is what it will look like next week and next month. Right now it has a heartbeart, feels pain, and sucks its thumb. Here are some statistics on emotional results. Here are statistics of how many women regret the procedure. This is what it looks the orignal poster was getting at to me and you have not answered the questions to "know so much about what happens in these situations". I would like to know myself now that this has come up.
By the way, why is this topic on this board? This is a sex advice board. This should have been moved. This is not related to sexual relations.
If you want to know more do as another poster mentioned and Check out planned parenthood's website or contact them.
For the sake of the Original poster which a few of you are completely ignoring these possibly triggering details seem innappropriete to me for this particular thread. Check out the abortion board or other readily available online information if you need to know more specifics.
STOP. This is not the place to debate this.
This is:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psabortdeb
Really? You don't think your "sniping" is also an example of presenting one side?
In the first place, the word is "snipping", not "sniping". Sniping is an auction strategy. But no, I don't feel I was presenting one side of the issue. I was answering your questions and assuring you that abortion patients are, in fact, counseled thoroughly before having an abortion.
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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!
"In the first place, the word is "snipping", not "sniping". Sniping is an auction strategy."
Another case of editing? Presenting a typo as a word that was spelled incorrectly? A typo in one word that was spelled correctly a few words later? Are we getting personal now?
"I was answering your questions.."
Another case of not representing information correctly? I did not ask you the questions. I called you on editing and using direct judgement on questions asked by someone else.
"How so?"
How do you explain purposely cutting comments you do not agree with in post? You don't call that editing? Pot Kettle Black
"Do they receive the same emotional anti-abortion arguments presented by faux abortion counselors?"
You edited the previous comments of the previous poster because you claimed she was not giving a fair view of both sides. If you are labeling facts (scientific aspects) about what happens during thr early weeks of pregnancy as emotional arguments, then you are what you are accusing her of being. You are giving heated labels to procedures and saying that you do not in fact present all arguments.
"They are, however, shown their ultrasound, thoroughly advised of risks associated with abortion, advised of emotional risks of abortion, and reminded of alternatives to abortion. I can assure you that in every clinic I know anything about, abortion is presented as a last resort option."
Except for the ultrasound, this still did not answer the specific questions.
"I don't believe I discussed my personal views, either."
You discussed your personal views when you said you did not like the other poster's comments. You then went on to further present your opinion by cutting out her comments.
"If you've spent any time at all around a clinic..."
Have you spent any time in a clinic? If so, you should be able to answer the specific questions.
"This isn't a procedure one schedules between shopping and a manicure."
I have not questioned that. I called you on your editing and bias. You still did not answer the questions.
Its not my place to do this but I'm gonna do it anyway.
IF you want to be argumentative, rude, and have absolutely no regard for the OP's feelings Then take it somewhere else.
This is not the place. I would be suprised if the OP ever posts in this thread again given the nature of some of the recent posts!! Have some respect for her and remember why we are all here! And Jeez! Show some restraint, just because you have an argument or disagreement doesnt mean you should just blurt it out without care for all the circumstances.
There is a time and a place.
Go to Planned Parenthood and Learn more if you like.
"First off - This conversation is NOT about weather abortion is Right or Wrong Or in between, but the direction you and some others are going is coming dangerously close. I'm sure I can speak on many members behalf when I say I dont want this thread to turn into a moral/political debate/argument. This thread is for the support of the OP."
You need to address that with the person who turned it into a judgemental debate. Asking about what the specific questions are that go in a counseling session
is educational.
This whole thread, support or not, should be on another board.
"Their personal views, although not expressed outright were implied by the nature of the the questions... esspecially the questions relating to the unborn. Given the OP's situation I feel that some of the imagery created by the suggestiveness of the writing is insensitive and inappropriete."
The questions were about science and facts of development during pregnancy. Is it a one sided view because it might not make people feel good about having an abortion? If a person has had an abortion, it is a fact. If she is upset by the imagery, then she may have made a choice that was not informed or she wants to live in a fool's paradise. She sounds like she may be very matter of fact or neither. It sounds as if she was comfortable with what she was presented. She is moving on since her main concern is now her boyfriend.
"A Good reputable clinic that does abortions and other reproductive health/human services DOES provide an abundance of information and councelling that the pateint is required to go through BEFORE the procedure takes place. Weather the patient takes advantage of the resources available to them after is their choice. But before the procedure is done tests, screening and education does take place"
This did not answer the specific questions.
"They are, however, shown their ultrasound, thoroughly advised of risks associated with abortion, advised of emotional risks of abortion, and reminded of alternatives to abortion. I can assure you that in every clinic I know anything about, abortion is presented as a last resort option."
Except for the ultrasound, this still did not answer the specific questions.
Then I regret that you find my posts uninformative. Other posters seem to have grasped what I was trying to say, so you and I may simply not communicate well. My apologies.
"I don't believe I discussed my personal views, either."
You discussed your personal views when you said you did not like the other poster's comments.
I don't believe I indicated whether I "liked" her comments or not.
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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!
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