Horny As Hell....
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Horny As Hell....
| Sun, 04-02-2006 - 9:55pm |
Okay, since ending my last relationship in February 2004, I have be practicing celibacy. I threw out all my vibrators, flicks, everything because I really needed to focus on me as a person and not as a sexual being...does that make sense? I have been really strong up until recently when I've been horny as hell but thing is - I want real sex and not vibrator sex. I have strong sexual desires for sex with a man - and I am no longer interested in masturbation using a vibrator. I recently ran across a guy that I dated in graduate school - and we broke up because he was a liar - but we had really good sexual chemistry! I was so shocked to see him that I just said "hello" and kept walking - but now I can't seem to get him or should I say "his love making skills" out of my mind. I have often thought of calling him for a late night sex session, but I never go thru with it. I have absolutely no idea what is going on in his life - and a part of me doesn't even care (sad but true). I know that I am worth more than a booty call because I want a real relationship (outside of sex). Ugh, I am so confused because I know that in my spirit that I am doing what is right (meaning the celibacy) - but the flesh is so weak. Does anyone have any advice that can offer me on how to deal with this situation? Thanks to all that respond!

Can you please explain what you mean by:
"I really needed to focus on me as a person and not as a sexual being"?
Thanks.
>>I really needed to focus on me as a person and not as a sexual being...does that make sense?<<
Well, to me personally, No, it doesn't make sense. I can understand what you mean, but I am of the opinion that humans are naturally sexual beings. Ultimately our intended purpose in life is to continue the species and we do that sexually. So like it or not, the sexual side of each and everyone of us is a very important part of *what* and who we are. I can't see how you can focus "on yourself" and deny a large part of what you are at the same time.
If you are not masturbating or getting any sexual release I can certainly understand why you can't help but think about this guy - you are horney and fit to burst by the sounds of it. Of course you are going to feel consumed by sexual thoughts.
Sex without a relationship? It's really up to you isn't it? Can you have a purely sexual relationship? Can you live with one night stands and casual sex for sex's sake? If you can, then well and good - go have a fling either with this guy or pick up another guy somewhere. If you can't, then you will be doomed like the rest of us single people and you will have to endure the torment and masturbate until you find a sexual relationship. Funnily enough I think that you now have a good insight into what it is like to be a teenage boy! LOL!
If I were you, I'd accept that I like sex, that I feel horney and want to have sex. I'd masturbate with whatever whenever I liked. If I was OK for casual sex then I'd have casual sex. I don't know why you are so into this celibacy thing.
You sound as though you have been either to see a quack psychologist / counsellor who is too into 'pop psychology' becasue they are trying to supplement the clincal skills that they are sorely lacking or you are trying to 'punish' yourself for a failed relationship, by listening to that self help garbage that gets mass prodcued. None of it is based on one thread of supporting clinical evidence except the loads of cash the author gets for producing that dribble and in my opinion Dr. Phil examplifies my statement. If they were any good as a clincian they would be at the top of their field and not trying to 'cash in' on their status. I can think of many psychologist I have met who are at the top of their field and not one of them has a best seller, has their own show, or knows Dr. Phil. Just my $0.02 and I wil get back to the question at hand.
Either way by denying yourself for this long has clouded your judgement. My apologies if I sound harsh but the reality is, in my opinion, by denying yourself sex you are going to make probably the worst decision every. If he was not good, as a person then, and you do want a relationship with him know what says it is going to be any better know? Personally I would avoid the self help garbage out there and get back into living. It may take some time but find someone whom you can have both with, a satisfying relationship and sex.