hot 28 year old with ED? or is he gay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2008
hot 28 year old with ED? or is he gay?
8
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 9:33pm

PLEASE GIVE ADVICE!


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Wed, 07-23-2008 - 1:16am

Were you actively touching him and trying to get him hard? Or were you just assuming that he'd be hard because of the situation?
If it's the first situation, then it's possible that there is a problem and he might want to be checked out, regardless of his age.
If it's the latter, then you might just be making the wrong assumption. Maybe he needs a bit of assistance. A guy can be turned on and not have an erection.

At any rate, it doesn't sound like he's gay. I don't think a gay man would be likely to go out on six dates with a woman, then take her home, engage in animal passion kisses with her, rip her clothes off, then spend the night.

You seem to like him, so give him a call. He's likely completely in the dark about what happened and is wondering if you're ever going to want to see him again, so it's your call to make.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 07-23-2008 - 6:33am

Welcome to the board, imjustagirl1984.

I agree with everysecondtuesday. It even sounds like he was confused when you were asking him if he was attracted to you. If I were you, I'd let the incident go because talking about it would probably cause more harm than good.















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Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-23-2008 - 9:57am

Your question, "I hope I didn't move too fast for you" caused all the problems. His actions indicated that he was hot, so he couldn't relate to the question.


He certainly is not gay, but he might need manual stimulation. I hope there is a "next time" so you can finish the deed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2008
Wed, 07-23-2008 - 11:33am

everyone, thank you for all the help and adv. i really feel alot better about the situation. ill keep you poosted!!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Wed, 07-23-2008 - 4:13pm

Just for the record, if a guy can't get it up (and yes, it happens to EVERYONE on occasion), you should:

1) play with it
2) Give him oral
3) Enjoy the foreplay
4) Let him keep pleasuring you until he gets there
5) give him a show
6) repeat some or all of the above

If he really just can't get it up that night, you should smother him with kisses and tell him how much you enjoyed everything else, and maybe go ahead and finish yourself (see #5).

You should NEVER roll over upset, making it clear how unsatisfied you are, and then ask him questions about whats wrong, why he isn't attracted to you, etc.

Unless, of course, you really want him to feel lower than whale dung and guarantee that he'll have performance anxiety the next time. We're fragile creatures, you know?!

--


martinisnsushi - living the good life since 1963

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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2008
Wed, 07-23-2008 - 6:46pm

i loved your response. thank you so much. Good Advice!!!


i would have tried all of that but i thought there was no use. I DID give him a show. i was really being very sexual in fact- thats why i was freaked out.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Thu, 07-24-2008 - 11:19am
Don't beat yourself up. If you really like the guy, just think of all the fun you can have correcting the problem the next couple of times you are together.

--


martinisnsushi - living the good life since 1963

--


martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 7:14pm
One thing that I really wonder is, you say you got "almost naked." Does this mean that you have actually seen his penis? I also couldn't tell, since you just said you "made out" whether or not you actually touched his penis? Also, did you two ever get fully naked or naked enough so that he didn't have any pants or underwear on? Sorry for the questions, I just couldn't tell from your posts.