How to build up your confidence?
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How to build up your confidence?
| Wed, 09-26-2007 - 3:12pm |
Thanks for all the replies to my last post. After I read them I realized that it is more of a self confidence issue on my part. I'm trying to have a healthier relationship with someone this time around, and in the past, I admit I've let myself be pushed around sexually in relationships. I want to be more sure of myself, and unafraid to let my wants be known. My problem is that I get shy/embarrassed talking to my partner about what I want. I also have trouble standing up for myself when they want me to do something in bed that makes me uncomfortable. I would love any advice you all might have on being a more confident person in the bedroom. I have alot of trouble getting "lost in the moment" as well during sexual acts. I become entirely too self conscious and my ability to O suffers immensely. All of your advice has been great so far, I appreciate it.

For me, some of that confidence comes with knowing and trusting my partner. Some of that confidence also comes with knowing that your pleasure will make his pleasure better as well. Most guys love to know that the woman is enjoying herself -- unless he's a selfish lover. I'm going to put a couple of links below for you, that should help answer some of the benefits of having that confidence in the bedroom.
As far as doing things that you don't want to do, that's where you have to set your boundaries and not cross them. It's okay for him to suggest something, but if you say no, then he shouldn't be pushing the issue. If it's something you don't want to do, and he keeps pushing the issue, then it sounds like he's not the right guy to be with. I will say that your tastes, likes, wants might change over time, so you may find that you are interested in things later on that you aren't right now.
AskMen.com Boost Your Sexual Confidence
"Find out exactly what's going on in your guy's brain and learn what men do to seal the deal. Use the same tactics they do to become a regular bedroom bombshell yourself!"
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextechnique/0,,askmen_bpksqgbs,00.html
You on top: The sexiest mattress moves of all:
"Guys love it when you take control in the sack, so don't be shy. Just read these passion pointers, then hop on so you can both enjoy the ride."
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/sex/no/articles/0,,426380_500115,00.html
Better Sex, Easy as 1-2-3: 20 Tips Every Couple Should Know
"Could your sex life use a boost? You're not the only one. Over the years, I've been asked every question there is, from getting in the mood to learning how to become orgasmic. That's why I've put together 20 of my best tips right here. Here's to many more years of better sex!"
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextechnique/0,,drruth_r9s4,00.html
5 Things That Can Ruin Your Sex Life (and how to avoid them)
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sexconcerns/0,,traceycox_7slp2dh5,00.html
By Tracey Cox
Sex Sin #1: Squeamishness
Sex Sin #2: Fear of Experimentation
Sex Sin #3: Not Knowing Thine Own Body
Sex Sin #4: Never Taking Charge
Sex Sin #5: Being Easily Embarrassed
I have a huge list of resources if you are interested in more articles, but I think you'll find some excellent pointers in the ones I have listed here.
You get confidence from knowing that you're worth respect.
Seconding what Sakura said, from a guy's perspective. There is no bigger turn on than a sexually confident woman.
I just wanted to add........I didn't mention "sexually confident"......although the examples I gave were sexually oriented......because that's the example the OP used.
Just as important........is just plain "self confidence".