How can I help him :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
How can I help him :(
4
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 11:26am
Hi guys. I've been making posts on here like there's no tomorrow, sorry about all the questions and everything. This is all so new and unfamiliar to me, I need advice. My bf and I talked last night and I told him how he really hurt when he went inside and that I thought it was because I wasn't stretched out enough etc. He told me he wants me to tell him that but he also said, and I quote:


"lol...no i know...u know i was just cautious at the beginnin cuz i didnt really know how u felt about that stuff...plus the beata thing didnt help..."

(in the beginning of our relationship this girl who liked him was bullsh*tting things to me about how he only wanted @$$)

"...and just i didnt wanna come off as some horny prick cuz as u know theres more to my feelings for u than just that of stuff..a lot more"

How can I fix this? I told him him being a horny prick if anything..to me..is hot!! And I find it cute as hell and I love it when he initiates things because for me it's hard too because I'm scared things will hurt. But obviously there will be times where I don't feel like it and vice versa but that doesn't mean I want him to hold back. I understand his point but I don't want him to feel that he has to be all cautious.

:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 12:01pm

I'm not quite sure what you are asking here.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 12:24pm
He becomes cautious when he wants to initiate sex, as in he holds back. He holds back because he doesn't want me to think he's a "horny prick" and that sex is all he wants from me. How do I get him to stop thinking that?? He knows I love him, horny prick or not, but he's still has that in the back of his mind. That's my question on how can I help him with that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 12:52pm
By being open and talking to him about it.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 2:54am
In your first post, you mentioned that sex wasn't so great because you were new to it. I'm wondering if your lack of enjoyment is making him feel bad about wanting sex. He's worried about hurting you or making you feel bad emotionally.

I think there are a number of things you could do to make him feel better - and they are based around ideas that will make sex better for you.

1. get comfortable being naked with him. If he sees how much you enjoy just laying around with him, he won't feel bad about asking you. However, at present, he's probably worried about making you do something that you are uncomfortable with.

2. relax and enjoy proper foreplay. Not only will it make sex much more enjoyable for both of you, it will make it easier for both of you.

In short, when he knows that initiating sex will give you pleasure - not insecurity or pain - he'll get over it.

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